


Cup of Coffee

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-13
Updated: 2007-12-13
Packaged: 2019-03-02 05:49:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13311822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: After "Leap of Faith" Tony does his very own leap of faith. Will he get more than he has bargained for? Spoilers for S05E05





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

Title: Cup of Coffee

Author: LovelyLadyLooks

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: pre-slash (can be read as slash), slight OOC for Gibbs

Spoilers: Season 5, Episode 5 Leap Of Faith 

Disclaimer: Not mine, everything becomes CBS, Belissario & Co 

Author’s Notes: Just a little something I came up with after having watched Leap of Faith. I almost wrote something Gabby but as a devoted Tibbs/ TonyGibbs fan I just couldn’t. lol. Hope you like it. Feel free to leave reviews.hehe ^.^

Cup of Coffee

Tony knew the moment he saw the car driving up to him that it was either being hit and ending with possibly lethal injuries or jumping over the wall and hoping for his backup to be in time to pull him back up. There was no other way this could turn out. Not with the speed the car had and Tony was willing to bet that their maul wouldn’t have any qualms to run him over. 

He also knew that it was irrational to call out for his boss, for Gibbs to save him since McGee was his backup.

Still he couldn’t prevent crying for help from his supervisor. It had always been Gibbs who had saved him or pulled him out of tight spots. The most prominent of all times probably was when he was locked in the sewer with Atlas. He could still remember the smell of death and decay surrounding him. And he still could remember the feeling of relief when he heard his boss’s voice. From then on it was only a matter of surviving until Gibbs found them. And find them Gibbs did.

Funny how all these thoughts come up when you’re on the brink of death again. Just that he couldn’t really laugh about it. He had to save his energy and hang on to the wall because he really didn’t want it to end like this. Not at all. 

When McGee finally made it to level 7, Tony’s arms were aching and he knew he wouldn’t have lasted much longer. Granted, he was not one for giving up but his body, as fit as it was, could only take so much strain. When he felt the probie’s hands on his arm and jacket to support him and pull him up he almost sighed from relief. There was no way he would ever make fun of his colleague again. He would have died without him.

“I love you McGee. I Promise never to give you a hard time again. You’re alright.” was all he could bring out. Adrenaline and exhaustion were pouring over him in waves and he had a hard time catching his breath. He was sure that his life expectancy had decreased another 5 years because of that stunt alone.

Back at home after having left the office he immediately placed Abby’s back rose in a vase and stared at it wistfully. He knew why Abby had given it to him. It was not only because she still loved him, as she claimed when she had handed over the flower. 

No, it was also to thank him for staying with NCIS. Just like Abby he too had gotten multiple job offers during his carrier and had he considered them in the first year, he now dismissed them immediately. 

For NCIS and his team he had given up on his usual style of changing jobs every two years. One morning he had woken up and wondered how much longer it was until his 2-year-limit and had found that he was already 7months overdue. With a warm smile he had gotten up and ready for a new day at work.

True, people like Fornell would welcome him with open arms and even Homeland Security had voiced its interest but he had denied them all. He couldn’t leave his back up, his team, his family. He needed them and he liked to believe that they needed him too.

“Would he miss me if I go?” he sang softly. He wasn’t a musical buff as much as a movie buff but this one line had stuck with him ever since he heard it. He couldn’t deny the feelings it portrayed but he could always hide them. At least at work.

With a heartfelt sigh he headed to the bathroom and after a quick shower he fell into bed. 

\- NEXT MORNING -

The security guard didn’t deem it unusual for Tony to come in at 5h30 in the morning. In the beginning it was found slightly suspicious but after days, weeks and months passed in the same fashion the staff just got used to it. Gibbs’s reputation was well-known so the coming in early and leaving late wasn’t as surprising as it would have been for a member of a different team.

Getting started wasn’t difficult. He was practically the only one in the large office room and all alone in Gibbs’s bullpen. Work wasn’t hard to find. Their boss had sent them home after having wrapped up the case. Reports were the only remaining things to hand in and Tony saw his chance to get ahead in the time he was alone and could fully concentrate on the happenings of the previous day. 

Hearing the elevator come up and open he looked up surprised. It was still only 5h45 and official work wouldn’t start for another 2 hours. Shrugging his shoulders he moved to go back to work when he recognized that it was Gibbs who got out of the elevator.

“Hey boss. You’re early. And two cups of coffee? Must have been a short night… or a long one depending on the point of view I guess.” It was obvious that Tony was in a good mood and Gibbs couldn’t help but notice the soft smile in his subordinate’s eyes.

“That’s where you’re wrong DiNozzo. This one,” he said upon slightly shaking his second cup of coffee and placing it on Tony’s desk, ”is for you.”

Looking from the cup now standing on his desk to Gibbs and back again he couldn’t help but wonder if all this was real or one of his more tame fantasies involving his boss and supervisor. Deciding to just go with the flow he took the coffee and smelled at it. 

“Mmmm Boss, thanks. That’s just the thing to get the day started properly.” One sniff was enough to tell him that this was the good stuff. Not some cheap drive-in coffee but the home made version with a rich and delicious flavour. 

The first sip confirmed his thoughts. The taste was slightly bitter but not overly so. He took another sip, this time trying to truly taste the hot liquid that rushed into his mouth.   
Creamy whipped cream hit him first, with its notes of vanilla and sugar. The flavour was quickly followed with an intense rush of chocolate and a light taste of hazelnut - both perfectly tempered by the smoothness of milk. Underneath it all lurked a hint of strong bitterness, but in surprise, Tony realized that the contrast actually served to make the other flavours all the richer and sweeter. 

It was divine.

“Wow” was all he could say.   
“I take it you like my version of mocha with double chocolate, hazelnut syrup and whipped cream?”   
“That’s gotta be the understatement of the century. Why do you always drink that sludge you call coffee when you can make something… something gorgeous like this?”

Gibbs just had to laugh. He knew it was out of character for him but seeing Tony’s adorable expression he just couldn’t keep it in. He already wanted to pay the younger man a visit yesterday evening after the events at the parking house but his conversation with Rachel took longer than expected. They had never met before but they had connected over her brother’s tragic death. Both had now found some sort of closure, something he admittedly had needed desperately.

“I simply prefer the other kind. That’s all. Doesn’t mean it’s the only type of coffee I know. You like the fancy stuff, I’m the down to earth type.” 

“Truer words, Boss.” Without thought Tony toasted to his boss and since it was curiosity that killed the cat it was only a few second later that he asked the question that had been on his mind from the very beginning. “Thanks again. I appreciate it but how did I earn it?” 

“I could probably show you better than I could tell you.” was the cryptic response Tony got. 

What was his boss talking about? If he didn’t know better he would say that Gibbs was coming on to him. And that couldn’t be true, now, could it?

“Speechless DiNozzo?” the smirk on his Boss’s face spoke volumes and he just knew that his boss was flirting with him. 

Gibbs. Flirting. With me. Wow.

“When and where did you have in mind?” 

Never let it be said that Anthony DiNozzo was passing up opportunities and this one was too good to be true. He knew with a hundred percent certainty that his hero crush on Gibbs had evolved to love quite some time ago. It hadn’t happened over-night, no but it had happened nonetheless. He liked the other man’s attitude, his smiles, his take on life and his determination and thoroughness. And this was his chance to get the whole package.

“Tonight, dinner at my place, 2000? Sounds ok?”

“It’s a date.”

“Is it, DiNozzo?”

Tony could practically hear see the doubt in his boss’s eyes. He never would have judged the other man as insecure but Gibbs’s nervousness made him all the more adorable.

“It’s Tony when we’re alone. And yeah, it really is a date. In every sense of the word.”

The smile he got was reply enough and Gibbs’s shoulders lost the slight tension he had detected earlier but not thought about further. Tonight they would talk and see where this would get them. He would go with the flow and hopefully they would work out. 

The future suddenly looked brighter than it had when he had gotten up this morning

Fin

P.S.: If you like the coffee-description, credits go to Jennavere ^.^


	2. Cup of Coffee II

This was ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous. 

He had spent the last 5 minutes standing in front of Gibbs’s front door and had yet to knock. Not that it would be necessary since it was a known fact that Gibbs left his door unlocked. Always.

So he was a lady’s man. So he never had dated a man before. So he was scared shitless. Big deal!

Shaking his head he berated himself. This morning when Gibbs had asked him over for a dinner-date it was so easy to say yes and go with the flow. The doubts had come later. Sure he had the occasional wet dream about hot and steamy sex with a man. But that didn’t mean that he actually ever had sex with a man in real life. Big difference.

Completely lost in his musings he almost suffered a heart attack when the door suddenly opened and Gibbs was looking at him expectantly.

“You going to come in anytime soon? Dinner’s almost ready, you know?”

“Well you know boss I just couldn’t help but admire the sky tonight. The view from my apartment is not nearly as good as from here and since it’s usually pretty cloudy I hardly get the chance to observe the different constellations. Not that I am all that interested in astronomy, you know. It’s just the general principle. Did you know that-“

“Hey, Tony.” Gibbs interrupted the younger man gently.

Blushing Tony stopped his ramblings and looking the other man over he noticed that Gibbs wore soft denims that clung to his legs in all the right places. The polo he had pulled on seemed to be made of cashmere and looked tantalizingly soft.

“Nervous?”   
“Like you wouldn’t believe, Boss.” 

The answer had been obvious, even before Gibbs had asked the question. He couldn’t keep himself from smiling. The young man standing right in front of him looked utterly adorable.

“Call me Jethro when we’re alone like this. And there’s no need to be nervous. It’s a first date, nothing more, nothing less. No pressure, ok?”

Letting the soothing and reassuring words wash over him, Tony couldn’t help but trust Gibbs’s words to be true. The older man never said anything he didn’t mean and was always honest. Brutally so in some cases. Bracing himself, he grabbed Gibbs’s hand and entwined their fingers. He didn’t look at the other man but the message was clear. 

Tony would trust Gibbs to guide and lead him. The older man would be the one in charge.

Thrown by so much trust Tony had in him it took Gibbs a moment to react. However only a few seconds later he gently lifted Tony’s face and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. It was tender and intimate and Tony almost melted right then and there.

After pulling back Gibbs just smiled at him and tugged slightly to get Tony to move inside. Once in the front hall they let go of each other. 

Gibbs left for the kitchen and Tony made his way down into the basement. He was curious as to how much progress the other man had made since his last visit. Switching on the light he was impressed. The skeleton had vanished almost completely and he only saw a few more pieces of wood waiting to be put in their respective places. 

Circling the boat slowly he let his fingers run over the surface. He was amazed at the feeling it generated. It was not cold and hard as he had imagined. It actually felt warm and smooth, like it had a life of its own. 

He could tell immediately when he wasn’t alone anymore. He hadn’t heard Gibbs descending the stairs, being too absorbed of the feeling under his fingertips but Tony felt the other man as soon as he was standing behind him. He took a small step back, to get a little closer to Gibbs and to that delicious heat that seemed to radiate off of him. 

Taking the hint Gibbs put his arms around Tony and pulled him up close. The younger man liked the feeling of a strong body behind him, sheltering him, supporting him. The very last of the tension that had controlled his body drained out of him and he surrendered completely to Gibbs. 

“Thank you.” was all the older man said and kissed his now-lover softly under his right ear. The shiver he got as response felt wonderful and he looked forward to learning all of Tony’s hot spots. Not wanting to rush things however he pulled back ever so slightly and held out his hand for the younger man to take.

“You wanna join me for dinner?”  
“Absolutely, Jethro. What have you made?”  
“Chinese food. I thought you might like it. Pizza didn’t seem right for tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”

Blushing lightly Tony ducked his head. Not that Gibbs wouldn’t see the slight flush suffusing his cheeks but he tried. 

“You didn’t have to order in. Really.”  
“Did I say that I called for delivery? I made it myself, Tony.”  
“And from the smell of it, you did really good.” The younger man smiled and let go of Gibbs’s hand again to move over to the stove and pear into the wok and other (Töpfe). He closed his eyes to savour the taste in all its intensity and immediately fell in love with the spicy aroma. 

“Bo- Jethro this is wow”   
“Hey,” the other man laughed. “You haven’t even tasted it yet. For all you know I could have messed it up.”   
“So modest all of a sudden? How comes?” Tony teased and stuck out his tongue. He liked the bantering and light flirting. It was funny and there was no pressure to do anything he didn’t want to or didn’t feel ready for. 

“Watch it!” was the only verbal reply he got and the head slap that followed wasn’t really a surprise. However this time it wasn’t as much as a wake-up-call-smack as a disguised caress. Tony leaned in slightly to prolong the contact and tried to hide his disappointment when Gibbs turned to the stove and stirred the contents of his wok. 

“You wanna eat in the kitchen or in the living room? I don’t mind either way.”  
“Living room would be nice.” Usually Tony preferred the kitchen but in this case he chose the living room. He had secretly fallen in love with Jethro’s couch a long long time ago. 

It was after a particularly bad case during which Gibbs had been injured. Not fit to drive, Tony had picked him up everyday and once after work Gibbs had invited him to stay and have some coffee with him. They had sat down on the couch and after only one short moment Tony was in love. The simple piece of furniture was comfy and smelled of his boss and of sawdust. Hook, line and sinker in only a few seconds. 

Reminding himself to stay in the present he moved into the living room and took Gibbs’s and his drinks with him. They had settled on beer since Tony didn’t want to drink coffee with dinner and Gibbs refused to accompany his meal with soda or water. The compromise had been found easily. 

Jethro joined Tony only a few minutes later with a bowl in each had and chopsticks for them. Tony winced internally. He still hadn’t managed to learn the skill of eating with chopsticks but he didn’t really want to ask his boss for a fork. Talk about embarrassing. He mentally braced himself for eating a lot slower than his usual pace.

Sitting down next to Tony, the older man handed him the bowl and the chopsticks. He liked the atmosphere between them. There was no awkwardness, usually pretty much a given for first dates. He had thought about and dreaded possible uncomfortable silences or not finding anything to talk about. Not that they really had talked much at all since Tony arrived almost an hour ago. 

Lost deep in thought Jethro didn’t notice that Tony was growing more frustrated by the minute. He would have liked to impress his boss by being able to say that he could handle a stupid pair of chopsticks but apparently it wasn’t as easy as Kate, and everybody else for that matter, made it out to be.

The low growl next to him startled Gibbs and he stopped eating. “You don’t like it?”   
“No, no. Well I don’t know. I haven’t tried it yet.” Tony hurried to reassure his boss but ducked his head, blushing again. Gibbs’s curiosity was peeked. He looked the young man over, took in the slumped shoulders, the bowl in his left hand and the chopsticks in his right hand. With a startling epiphany he realized what was wrong about this picture. The young man looked defeated. And only because of a pair of chopsticks.

“Hey,” he started gently “you could have just asked for a fork you know? I didn’t want to embarrass you or anything, ok?”

The soft smile he got in return was enough for him to know he had found the right words to say and the right tone too. Wonders never cease Jethro chuckled internally.

“It’s just… I’m a federal agent, trained investigator etc… and I have to admit defeat because of a pair of…. Argh!”

The laughter bubbled out of Gibbs before he could even try to keep it in. Tony looked so cute and adorable he had to prevent himself from pouncing. 

“You wanna learn?” he asked instead. He was pretty sure the young man would be a quick study and it would be fun too. He loved the way he could just be himself with Tony and not the bad-ass-ex-marine-sniper-boss. At home he was just Jethro and being able to share this with another young, handsome and vibrant young man he liked very much felt amazing.

“Yeah. But your food’s getting cold. Finish your bowl and then you can show me how to do this right.” Initially surprised by the genuine laugh he had gotten out of Gibbs without even trying, he now felt better. He knew it was silly to worry about little things like the chopsticks business but he desperately wanted them to work out. 

Gibbs… no Jethro was more that just his boss. He was a friend, he was back up, he was family… he was all Tony had ever wished for wrapped in one. He wouldn’t let this chance at happiness slip away. Granted, he had no sexual experience with other men but if there was somebody out there with whom he was willing to discover the pleasure of gay sex and love, it was Jethro.

Startled because he had been too lost in thoughts he was surprised when he felt the other man move to sit behind him. He scooted a bit forward to make more room but Jethro kept him in place. They were now sitting pressed together, Tony’s back against the other man’s front. He was nestled between his legs and didn’t really know where to put himself until Jethro’s arms snuck around him to grab the bowl and the chopsticks. He put them in the right position with practised ease and then went to explain the mechanics to Tony.

“Look how I hold them. It’s important to hold them in the right place. Instinctively you’d hold them more at the front or the middle but that’s wrong. Take hold of them more at the end. It’ll make everything easier. Pass me mine, will you? I’ll show you, you try to copy what I do.”

A short nod was all he got in response. What he didn’t know was that Tony enjoyed their closeness immensely. He could feel Gibbs toned body trough his clothes and the images floating through his mind made him distinctively uncomfortable. He tried to focus on the task at hand, as difficult as it was.

“Ok, next step. You’ll want to hold the upper chopstick with your thumb, index and middle finger. Let it rest between the middle and index and push against it gently with your thumb. See?” Jethro followed his instruction by doing exactly what he had described. Tony copied him and was satisfied when he managed to handle his upper chopstick just the way Jethro did.

“That looks already pretty good to me. I knew you’d be a quick study.” Tony was told and he could practically feel the blush coming on again. He felt like a teenager all over again but it felt wonderful at the same time.

“Here we go, now we take the other chopstick. This is a little harder but you’ll manage. You take the stick and put it between the bottom of the thumb and the tip of the ring finger. It should rest in the crook between thumb and index finger. Actually while you’re eating it’s only the upper chopstick that moves. The other one rests stable. No action with that one. And once you’ll manage you’ll be able to eat like this.” 

Jethro picked a piece out of the bowl and moved it in front of Tony’s face. “Open up. Didn’t think you wanted to starve.” The older man joked and it took only a few seconds for Tony to open his mouth and let Jethro feed him. He liked the gentleness the other man treated him with. 

“Mmmm! God, this tastes absolutely delicious. I didn’t know you could cook food like this. It’s amazing!” Tony was in heaven. This was one of the best dished he had eaten in like forever. He knew it wasn’t only the dish but also the fact that it was Jethro, the one man he like very much and was willing to experiment and try things with, who had cooked for him.

“I’m glad you like it.” Laughing softly Jethro continued to feed the younger man sitting up against him. He occasionally snuck in a bite for himself but he didn’t really mind. All he wanted was right here in his arms. 

Good god, get sappy, will you?! Jethro berated himself but couldn’t really put any meaning behind his internal pep talk. He didn’t mind that Tony put his world upside down even though it was a peculiar feeling. Like falling without safety net but still being secure and certain that Tony would be there to catch him. Maybe he wasn’t in love with Tony yet but he definitely cared about the other man. No doubt about that.

Sugar alarm Jethro. Get a grip, will you? The little voice in his mind continued but he just tuned it out. He concentrated on Tony and on the feelings the other body so close to his generated. After having finished both their bowls Jethro leaned back and pulled Tony with him. He snuck his strong arms back around him and sighed happily when the younger man let go of the subtle tension in his body. 

Jethro sensed that this would be the ideal time to talk about this… them

“You ok?” he asked softly, not wanting to disturb the mood  
“Yeah I’m good. This is just… new for me, you know?”  
“In what sense?”   
“It’s weird in a away. It feels great to let you take care of thing, let you be in charge. It’s just not what I’m used to. Usually I was leading things in the right direction, taking charge, pleasuring, etc.” Tony’s voice had grown softer and softer with each word he’s spoken. Jethro didn’t know how but he could tell that it wasn’t caused by insecurity. Maybe Tony was just as overwhelmed by everything as he was.

“Have you ever been with a man before?” the older man had taken to soothingly rub and stroke Tony’s stomach and abs. There wasn’t anything remotely sexual about the touch. It was comforting and loving.

“No, I haven’t,” Tony stated and slightly ducked his head. “I knew I was bi for a long time now but I never acted upon it. It never seemed worth it since homosexual tendencies in our world aren’t always taken nicely. On top of that I never really met a person, I mean a man, with whom I wanted to share this kind of intimacy.”

“Particular reason why you feel that way?” the tone was laced with genuine interest not just simple curiosity. It helped Tony to know that Jethro wasn’t judging him but listening to what he had to say.

“Maybe. I think that I’d feel too vulnerable. With a man I didn’t trust a hundred percent that is. This is really embarrassing but… The thought of being penetrated is hot but… opening up in that way… I don’t know if I can do that. Admittedly I haven’t even tried yet but still… don’t get this wrong, though, Jethro. I’m just saying that-“

“Hey, hey. It’s alright,” the older man whispered into Tony’s right ear. “There’s really nothing to be embarrassed about. We’re grown people, adults and we can talk about sex. Thank you though for opening up to me and share this with you.” Underlining his words he kissed Tony right underneath his ear and got a nice shudder as reward. 

“There’s also nothing about what you said that sounded silly. It’s completely understandable. Opening up yourself for penetration is a serious step and shouldn’t be taken lightly because it means so much. It’s the ultimate gift to another man. You feel what you feel and not what you’re supposed to. Never let anybody tell you anything different.” He continued but let go of the other man’s neck. He knew instinctively that Tony had to initiate the next physical contact. The younger man had to be sure of what he wanted and had to act on it. Being afraid and relying completely on Jethro wouldn’t do. They were equals in this relationship. 

“Very profound Jethro.” Was Tony’s joking reply and Jethro accepted the attempt at lightening the mood a little. Therefore his only answer was a sarcastic “I have my moments!” and a very soft head slap… it was so soft that it didn’t really qualify as a slap but still. The action helped to ground Tony and guide him back into waters he knew and felt comfortable in. He had opened up immensely already but Jethro didn’t want to push. They would continue this in a pace that was comfortable for both of them.

Their discussion was however disturbed by a low rumbling sound. Tony groaned openly in embarrassment but Gibbs just laughed. 

“I see your stomach decided that second helpings are in order.” He chuckled lightly  
“Yeah, looks like it. But we don’t have to. I’m fine like this.”   
“Nope. Second helpings it is.” Gibbs decided and got up to get them more food. 

Coming back he had a slightly evil smile gracing his features. Handing over the two items he sat down on the couch but this time he chose to sit between Tony’s legs, his back to the younger man’s front. Reversed position to earlier. 

“Time to show off your new skills, Tony! You get to feed me.” The teasing tone was meant to distract Tony from their new position but did virtually nothing for the younger man’s nerves. Being pressed so close to Gibbs, he had a hard time to keep his brain from short circuiting. 

Grabbing hold of the chopsticks Gibbs held out, he tried to mimic the way he had used them earlier. He struggled a little at the beginning and a few pieces landed on Gibbs’s shirt but the older man just picked them up with his fingers and slid them into his mouth. 

Tony did his best to focus on the task at hand but concentration became more and more elusive as he continued to feed Jethro and sometimes himself. The body pressed up to him felt so good and the smell of sawdust emanating in subtle waves was doing nothing for his self-control. 

“Are you ok, Tony?” came the surprising question apparently out of thin air and startled the young man.   
“Yeah I’m good. Why’re you asking?”   
“Just curious. You keep fidgeting, that’s all.” Jethro hinted subtly. It was his way of asking if Tony was comfortable with their closeness and whether he should back off a little or not. Tony could have kisses the older man for being so considerate alone.

“No, it’s fine. It’s … new, that’s all.”  
“You sure? If I’m too heavy you have to tell me.” Jethro insisted. They both knew what he was really talking about though. The older man had felt the tension in Tony’s body. It was obvious that the younger man was not really at ease with their closeness. Whether it was because he enjoyed it to much or not enough, wasn’t really the question since Jethro had felt Tony’s heart rate increase and heard the breathing grow heavier ever so slightly. Gibbs was pretty sure that Tony enjoyed their being together like this intensely but was afraid to embarrass himself by reacting to him in a too obvious way.

To spare Tony any embarrassment Gibbs got up with the bowl in hand. “I’m going to put this away. You want some coffee too?” A short pause but the younger man didn’t hesitate much “Yeah that would be great. Thanks.” 

Tony was aware of the flush suffusing his cheeks but he couldn’t not look at Gibbs. “You need a hand? Or want some company in the kitchen?” he asked shyly, knowing that it was more him than Gibbs who didn’t want to be alone. Grated, the physical closeness before made him uncomfortable because he couldn’t seem to control his bodily reactions but he still wanted to be around Gibbs. The older man seemed to understand Tony’s turmoil. He just nodded and motioned him to follow. 

Once in the kitchen they worked together as effortlessly as they did on duty. It was nice to be able to connect on every level and Tony was positively surprised. As was Gibbs when Tony moved to the sink without being asked and started washing up the dishes. Gibbs hadn’t bothered to clean up after having finished the cooking, he had left it for later when the plates from dinner could be washed in the same go.

Tony seemed to notice Gibbs’s gaze upon him and turned around with a knowing smile. “Always anticipate.” Was all he said but it was enough. Gibbs tried hard to keep the grin from surfacing but the corners of his mouth rose suspiciously and betrayed him. Tony just winked and turned around to continue his work.

Never one to be thrown easily Gibbs was still amazed at how right it felt to have the other man here with him in his home. It was a long time since he felt so at ease with another person, his co-worker and subordinate nonetheless. He also felt comfortable with the pace they had set. He didn’t want to rush Tony into anything since the younger man had no experience at all with men. Jethro was looking forward to teaching him everything he knew, though. 

Splitting up the washing and drying, the two men were finished in no time and sipped their coffee in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable and both were lost deep in thought. Gibbs only looked up when he heard Tony’s chair scraping across the floor as the young man moved to put his cup away. He quickly washed and dried it without a fuss and again Jethro felt glad to have taken the chance with his handsome and vibrant young man. 

Suppressing a sigh Tony leaned against the kitchen counter and faced Gibbs. “I guess I should leave now. It’s late and we have work tomorrow.” Carefully schooling his features Tony watched Jethro and his reaction. He didn’t want to leave but he didn’t want to rush into things and spent the night either.

Jethro’s face fell ever so slightly after Tony had finished but he couldn’t fault the logic. Sure he wanted to spend some more time with the younger man but still. They would find other days they could spend together. He contented himself with just nodding.

“I just… don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stay some more but I think it’s best for me to leave as long as I still can, “ Tony whispered almost inaudibly. “I want to stay with you but I also want to get to know you properly. To see what makes you smile, what you like doing in your free time besides sanding your boat, what you favourite restaurant is, what you-“ a finger on his lips interrupted Tony’s monologue. 

“Hey, it’s alright, I understand. Doesn’t mean I have to like letting you go now, but I understand. We’ll do this right and without jumping ahead of us. And I’ll enjoy leaning everything about you too. Believe me. We’re ok.” Gibbs’s reassuring and soothing words were like balm for Tony’s insecurities. He didn’t want to come across too girly or coy but this was too important too him, to screw up. 

“Ok. I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” He smiled softly and looked deeply into Gibbs’s eyes to convey the sincerity of his words. What he saw was affection, tenderness and the beginnings of love. He was so lost in the moment he didn’t realize that Gibbs had moved forward to brush his lips softly against Tony’s. 

The young man sighed contentedly and closed his eyes to participate in the kiss. Slightly tilting his head he moved with Jethro and their lips locked in a firm embrace. He couldn’t help but moan ever so slightly when Gibbs traced his lower lip with his tongue and relaxing, Tony granted him entrance. 

What followed then had to be one of the most erotic kisses for both of them. Jethro wouldn’t be rushed and took his time to slowly enter Tony’s mouth and explore the hot cavern. He traced the palate, his teeth and then slowly moved to meet Tony’s tongue. The response from the other man was slightly hesitant. He rubbed softly against Gibbs’s tongue and when it retreated Tony followed. He licked ever so slightly on Gibbs upper lip and the groan the older man tried to stifle gave him al the encouragement he needed. He penetrated Jethro’s mouth and had they been gently and soft in the beginning they now moved together with newfound intensity until they needed to come up for much needed air.

A light brush of lips against lips was granted to finish their first kiss properly. Eyes closed they rested their foreheads together. Tony was the first to open his eyes and the flushed and content expression in Jethro’s face made him feel warm, content and at peace. He slid his arms around the body in front of him and let his head rest in the crook of Gibbs’s neck. Their bodies aligned; there was nothing sexual about the position. It was purely about closeness, comfort and tenderness. 

“Wow.” Was all Tony could bring out. He was still slightly dazed and had a hard time catching up on his racing thoughts. Eventually he just gave up on it and decided to live the moment.

“Yeah, wow.” Gibbs agreed with Tony’s accurate assessment of the situation. He too was slightly lost in the sensations the kiss with Tony had provoked in him. He only let go of Tony when the younger man started to try to move away.

Blushing slightly Tony looked at Gibbs. “I really need to go now or I really won’t be able to leave. Ok?”   
“Yeah it’s fine. Don’t worry. We agreed on it before, remember? I won’t hold it against you 5minutes later just because we shared the most amazing kiss of my life,” Jethro smiled. That he had chosen the right words, despite his lack of people skills, was obvious when Tony’s body relaxed again and when he brushed their lips together again. 

They both moved to the door where Tony put on his shoes and his jacket. He tried stalling but knew that it was time to leave now. Grabbing Gibbs’s hand he pulled the other man closer for a quick chaste kiss and a warm hug that left them both wanting the moment to last longer than it actually did. In the end they had to let go of each other. 

Watching Tony get into the car and drive away a bone deep feeling of contentment suffused Gibbs and with a smile he closed the door without locking it. It never was, but after tonight he knew that Tony too was always welcome in his home, life and heart.


	3. Cup of Coffee

Tony hated to admit, but the explosion of the Chimera rocked him to the core. Not even 15 minutes earlier they had been on the very same ship that was burning down now. He didn’t care if it looked suspicious that he stood so close to Gibbs but he needed to feel the other man’s body heat. They only just had their first date yesterday, shared a wonderful evening and an amazing kiss. 

And it could all have been over, had they stayed on the ship.

It was a very rude wakeup call. 

Back at the office Gibbs immediately disappeared in MTAC to have a little heart to heart with Commander Skinner. Tony didn’t envy the man. He knew how Gibbs felt about the team and its safety and Skinner had played with what was most important to Gibbs. 

Still shaken McGee, Ziva and Tony sat down at their respective desks and started attacking the much hated paper work. Tony would have loved to be with Gibbs right now but he knew he would have to wait for either one of them to make the next move. They couldn’t let anything change on the clock, he was aware of that so either they would meet up after work or they wouldn’t. 

Immersing himself completely in the task of recollecting his memories as accurately as possible to give his boss a detailed report he didn’t see said man returning to his desk. Only when he got the peculiar sensation of being watched, did he lift his eyes and met Gibbs intense stare. 

What he could read in the other man’s eyes made him feel hot and cold all over. He saw tenderness, caring and possessiveness battling in the stark blue eyes and it was right then and there that Gibbs also knew how close they had come to never get any further in their slowly blossoming relationship. 

Smiling a soft and reassuring smile, Tony tried to convey as much feeling as possible through his gaze and when he saw Gibbs’s posture relax ever so slightly he knew he had succeeded. He even got a slightly lifted corner of Gibbs’s mouth as response and he just knew that this would be as close to smiling as his boss and lover would ever come at work when the others were around. And he was fine with that knowledge. 

Sure Gibbs could be a bastard but he knew that already, didn’t he? His boss was rude, insulting at times, tenacious, brutally honest and ferocious in what he did. As long as he got the job done he didn’t care much about following regs. Talking about “Better beg for forgiveness than ask for permission” and all. 

And still he had fallen and fallen hard. 

What other people hated about Gibbs, he took in stride and accepted it as one of the multiple layers of the personality that was one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Granted, the older man could be unnerving at good times and a hard-assed bastard at bad times but still Tony had learned to deal with this Gibbs and it didn’t bother him much since he knew that it wasn’t all there was to Gibbs. 

Last evening at Gibbs’s house had shown him that the other man had an infinitely gentle, caring and tender side. He had felt loved and cherished by the way his now-lover had treated his insecurities without embarrassing him or making him feel out of place. They had talked openly about Tony’s history with men… or the lack thereof to be more accurate and had he felt uncomfortable sharing so much information about him in the first place, that feeling had eased as quickly as it had appeared. He had let go of his embarrassment and laid his feelings bare. And he didn’t regret it one bit.

Resolute he opened the internal Instant Messaging program and quickly typed a message for Gibbs.

“Dinner at the Quadro Delizioso tonight? T.”

Thanks to his very sensitive hearing he could hear the soft beep when Gibbs got the IM and looked up ever so slightly to catch any possible reaction. There was none though and really, Tony thought, he should have known better. After all this was Gibbs, marine-sniper-second-b-is-for-bastard, so the poker face was pretty much a given. However Tony wasn’t disappointed by the lack of response. He knew that they had to be discrete and even if there was no way for either Ziva or McGee to know the IM Gibbs had gotten was from Tony, it was better not to push their luck at all. Gibbs quickly typed his reply and seconds after he had pressed the enter-button, Tony saw a window popping up at his screen. 

All it said was “I’d love to. G.” but it was enough to make him flush with excitement and pure joy. Yesterday Gibbs had asked him out, today it was his turn. At least he felt like it was. Not that there was any obligation but he had appreciated Gibbs’s efforts form the day before and did want to see him again tonight but on his own terms and without the other man having to cook again for both of them. Jethro was likely just as tired as he was, so Tony thought of dinner out as the perfect solution. 

The day passed a lot quicker than he had anticipated. He visited Abby in her lab since, even though the evidence she had gotten could in no way be processed so shortly after having received it he had the urge to see their favourite goth. It was weird investigating a murder on a ship with no means to get assistance form their lab technician. Gibbs didn’t reprimand him, which was odd in itself but he also noticed Gibbs cutting Ziva and McGee some slack. 

“No favouring indeed,” he thought wryly but didn’t really mind. He knew about his place in Gibbs private life and his unwavering status as Senior Field Agent. Granted, one of these days, weeks or months, his very private insecurities about that particular aspect would be discussed with Jethro, there was no doubt about that, but today he was at ease with himself. 

He was actually surprised when Gibbs called it a day and told them to stay home until Wednesday. Today being Friday that made it a fantastically long weekend. Director Sheppard sure as hell had had her say in this decision. She didn’t take lightly to her people being put at risk without being briefed accordingly beforehand. The whole ordeal with La Grenouille had shown Tony a very different side of their Director. She was just as tenacious as Gibbs when it counted and didn’t back off even if it meant facing people one would rather keep at their good side. 

Trailing behind on purpose, Tony was alone with Gibbs when Ziva and McGee finally left the bullpen for their extended weekend. 

“Hey,” Tony smiled softly  
“Hey,” was Gibbs reply as he returned the smile with one of his own.

They shared a brief moment of just looking each other over and then moved to the elevator. The open bullpen wasn’t exactly favourable for having private moments and the elevator could at least provide privacy. As soon as the doors closed Tony moved to take Gibbs’s hand in his and entwined their fingers. The gesture was small but conveyed all there needed to be said. 

Sighing softly, Tony let go of Gibbs again when the elevator came close to stopping on ground level. They were still in a federal building and the parking garage was equipped with security cameras. The younger agent knew better than to keep holding on to Gibbs when it would be taped by half a dozen cams and seen by at least 3 security guards. 

Gibbs walked Tony too his car and even though the young man tried hard to keep the flush at bay, his effort was fruitless. He ducked his head shyly and as he turned to face Gibbs the older man looked at him like he was the most special person on earth. It took him all he had to not warp his arms around Gibbs’s neck and kiss him for all it was worth. 

Sensing the younger man’s turmoil, Gibbs took a step forward and successfully invaded Tony’s personal space. It wasn’t for intimidation though, no, it was about reassurance. They couldn’t always do as they pleased when in public but they could help each other deal with the situation and if Tony needed to feel Jethro’s body heat radiating off of him, just like he had on the boat ride, who was he to deny the young man what he needed.

Tony finally cleared his throat. “You want me to pick you up?”  
“Yeah, if it’s not too inconvenient?” for Gibbs it was a slightly new concept to be at the receiving end of courtship but he liked it nonetheless.   
“7h30 ok with you?”   
“Yeah, definitely.” Gibbs agreed and smiled at the adorable young man. 

He was pretty sure the smile on his face made him look all goofy but he couldn’t have cared less. He had been flying solo long enough now and it was time to take a chance at happiness again. He was positive Tony and he could make it work. They both loved the job, were dedicated to it knew to put it first more than only occasionally. 

He was too lost in his thoughts to hear what Tony said, he only saw the lip movement and knew it was time to come back to this moment. 

“Sorry, spaced out for a moment. Come again?” he asked sheepishly  
“I just said that I would be at your place at 7h30 and that I needed to get home now to take care of some stuff. That’s all.” that Tony didn’t mind him slightly loosing himself in his thoughts was obvious when he saw the soft smile on the younger man’s face. 

“Ok. I’ll see you then.”  
“Yeah, Bye.”

Reluctantly, Tony unlocked his car and got in. Berating himself that he would see Jethro later anyways he shook his head ever so slightly. This was new for him, yeah, but he definitely knew that also his behaviour was out of the norm. He was never the clingy one… he also tried not to be now, but somehow he got the distinct feeling that he was failing. Miserably.

Still Gibbs didn’t exactly seem to mind. Maybe the older man hadn’t even noticed but with his luck and Jethro’s observation skills that was quite unlikely. Or maybe his now-lover really didn’t mind. Liking that explanation best he settled on it. 

His ride home was fairly uneventful. Not that he really cared. He was looking forward to later and couldn’t be bothered with mundane things like traffic jams or the like. He had more pressing matter to think about such as his wardrobe and what he would wear tonight. 

Blushing furiously he shook his head. If this was, what Jethro did to him now, he didn’t want to know about when they had progressed further in their relationship.

Finally arriving at home, he let himself in. Dropping on the couch in his living room he sighed deeply. The investigation on the Chimera had taken more out of him than he wanted to admit. He really had thought he was dying. It wouldn’t have surprised him in the least if he had. Sure, he did always land on his two feet but with his track record it wouldn’t be odd if he had used all his nine lives already. At least he felt like he had. Thinking back it was a wonder he still worked for NCIS. He had escaped death more than once by the skin of his teeth. However he never even considered to stop working at NCIS. He took it in stride just as he did with his boss’s bastard moods. 

And he never regretted staying. 

Shaking the darker thoughts away he moved to the kitchen and poured himself some water. He wasn’t in the mood for coffee now and didn’t really want to start with alcohol at half past five. He was likely to have some wine with Jethro over dinner and some beer now would do virtually nothing for his fatigue. 

He gulped down two glasses of water, surprised at his own thirstiness. Putting the glass away into the dishwasher he made his way to the bedroom where he undressed and went into the en suite bathroom. His entire body begged for the hot stream of water and who was he to deny it? Letting the water run until it had reached his usual temperature he took the time to study himself in the mirror. He was a bit pale, which was likely the result of their last case and a fair amount of exhaustion. His eyes were as expressive as ever but the paleness of his normally tan face made them stand out even more. 

Stepping under the spray of water he moaned in pleasure when the hot liquid hit his back and massaged it gently. This was the best part of coming home, second only to actually falling into bed and sleeping. Bracing his hands against the shower wall he let himself savour the sensations and only started his daily hygiene after 5 minutes of just standing there. The hot water pounding onto his back felt divine and he only got out of the shower when it began to run cooler. All he wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep for 48 hours but he was also looking forward to seeing Gibbs. 

Walking to his bed while drying off, he sat down and let himself fall back wards. God, did that feel good. The thought of curling up under the sheets and forgetting the world were as tempting as they could be. If he didn’t have a date with Jethro later there was no doubt as to what he’d be doing right now. But as it was he got up again and slipped into some sweats and pulled on his OSU t-shirt. It was old but it always provided the comfort he needed after cases like the last one. Deciding to not dwell on the last day too much he went clean up the kitchen a little. The last time was not that long ago but he was still looking for a cleaning lady. Until he found one he would have to make the effort himself. Time actually passed quite quickly considering the mind numbing and boring house work.

Still after having sat down in the living room he had only waited a few minutes until he resolutely picked himself up again and moved to his bedroom to check the contents of his wardrobe. 

Opening the doors he sighed deeply. This would take time. He liked his clothes, he really did, meaning he had lots and lots of things to chose from. Normally a good thing, though tonight he highly doubted it would be favourable to finish in time to pick Jethro up. 

Shaking his head again at his foolish antics he blushed ever so slightly. He was an ex-cop, federal agent with commendations going back years. On top of that he could hold his own when it came to face-to-face combat. Still, he stood defeated in front of his wardrobe without a clue as to what to wear.

He wanted to look good, obviously, but not overdressed. It should be casual but not too much. Underlining his “assets” for the lack of a better word but not in a cheap way. Good god, this was worse than getting ready for his first date ever. 

Finally deciding to go as “man in black” for the night he settled on black denims that clung to his shapely legs I all the right places. They were a little tight and showed of his ass but not overly so. They only hinted at what was hidden underneath. The black button down shirt was not as clingy as he would have liked it to be, but that was fine with him. It was more comfortable that way and still looked good. The black suit jacket was the finishing touch and looking himself over in the mirror, Tony was satisfied with what he saw.

A silver bracelet and ring were put on as accessories and with one last look at his watch; he left the apartment and made his way to Gibbs’s house. The drive didn’t take as long as usual. Rush hour was already over and if need be, Tony knew enough back roads to reach Jethro’s place quickly. 5 years as Special Agent and 4 as Senior Field Agent had taught him to “always anticipate!” and “be prepared!”. 

Logically he knew that Gibbs’s door was as open for him as for anybody else but he still he knocked out of courtesy. Not getting an answer though he carefully opened the door and stepped inside. The house was quiet and almost completely dark. 

“Gibbs?” he called out 

With no response forthcoming he called again. “Jethro?”

Becoming a bit worried he made his way through the house. Starting in the basement he was almost disappointed to not see his now-lover work at the boat. He always loved the concentrated look on Jethro’s face when he was completely immersed in the work of sanding his lady. She would be a beauty one day, Tony was sure of it.

Clearing room after room the young man decided to try upstairs. He knew that those were Gibbs’s more private rooms, he himself had slept quite a few times in the spare bedroom when his building was renovated again and again and again. Still Gibbs was nowhere to be found. 

Until Tony stepped into his bedroom. 

One look at the sight that greeted him was enough and his face split into a silly grin.

Jethro was lying in his bed, under the blankets, cuddling one of the cushions. The soft grumblings were not articulate enough to be understood but Tony still found the sight utterly adorable. He sat down, mindful to not jostle the mattress too much. Gibbs still was a man with reflexes of a fighter and warrior. There was virtually no telling what the reaction would be when he found somebody else in his bedroom, mind still muddled with sleep. 

Tony didn’t want to find out either.

Instead he settled for running his fingers through Jethro’s hair and slightly massaged his scalp. The expression on the older man’s face became blissful and Tony couldn’t help but smile. 

God was he happy to have taken Gibbs up on his invitation for their initial date.

In only a few days he had seen so many different aspects of Gibbs’s personality that left him reeling. But in the good way. He knew that the hard-assed marine in Gibbs was only part of the multi-layered personality and he had been looking forward to learn about the others in due time but he was positively surprised at Gibbs’s openness. He realized with startling clarity that it was not only he who trusted Gibbs with his inexperience but also Gibbs who trusted him, Tony, with the part of him that he kept hidden at work and around everybody else.

The mumbling started to grow more articulate as Tony continued his impromptu massage until Jethro opened his eyes, surprise to see the younger man here with him. Slowly getting his bearings, he realized that he must have dozed off completely when he only intended to take a short nap. 

Embarrassed he excused himself. “I’m sorry Tony. Just wait a second, I’ll be ready in no time.”  
“No worries, it’s your call. We can always cancel tonight’s dinner,” Tony was quick to assure his boss and lover. 

He could easily relate to the bone deep tiredness his Jethro was likely to be feeling, he himself not being exactly rested after their last case. If Gibbs wanted to stay home and get some sleep he understood. It didn’t mean he was happy because he had been looking forward to their dinner but still, he understood. 

Looking Jethro over, he noticed the thoughtful look on his face. “I’m not going to hold it against you. I’m exhausted myself. I’m totally cool if you want to stay home tonight. There will be more chances to get dinner together.” Tony continued. 

He knew exactly what Jethro was thinking. That he should suck it up and get up, even though he was likely to not enjoy himself being worn out and all. He didn’t want to disappoint Tony and that knowledge alone warmed said man to the core. 

“I’d really like to stay here tonight if you don’t mind. You’re welcome to stay too, if that’s what you want?” The last sentence should, by all rights, have been more of a statement than a question but it wasn’t. Gibbs knew his insecurities and was adamant about always leaving Tony a way out, even if he didn’t need or want it.

“Ok, uhm, I’ll get a glass of water and settle in the guest room for the night then.” Getting up, he was surprised when he felt Jethro holding onto him. He looked at the hand wrapped around his wrist, the up into the older man’s face with a questioning look.

“It’s up to you, but if you want, we can share my bed.”

Tony’s heart seemed to stop beating right then and there, before he felt it thundering against his ribs. This was new. This was taking their relationship to a whole new level. He didn’t know whether he was ready to get to 3rd base and further with Gibbs tonight. He wanted to, God did he want to. Wanting and being ready were to very different things though. 

“Hey, hey. Tony,” Jethro called out softly. He saw the distant look in Tony’s eyes and knew immediately that the younger man was reading the wrong things into his proposition. “I’m sorry, Tony. I didn’t mean it like that. Sit down, please?”

A small nod and Tony complied.

Jethro moved to lean against the headboard and looked the other man over. He was a bit tense but mostly skittish and nervous. Exasperated with himself he resolutely told himself to think things over before springing his ideas on Tony without any further warning whatsoever. 

“Look, what I meant was if you wanted to spend the night with me, yeah, but not in that way. I would like to lay here, with you, and just be together. No pressure to do anything more. I know you’re not ready yet, and I want to wait too and make this right. We’ll see about taking this further when we’re both ok and ready to do so. Until then, we do what comes naturally and try to get familiar with each other.” Seeing Tony relax he knew that he had chosen the right words. Strange that he always found the right words with the younger man, but only seldom with others. 

Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, Tony smiled at Jethro. “Ok. I’m good. Sorry for overreacting.” Feeling sheepish he ducked his head but Gibbs would have none of that. He lifted the face gently with a finger under his chin. “No apologies, Tony. Remember what I said a few days ago?”

Thinking back it soon dawned upon Tony what Jethro was hinting at. “You feel what you feel, and not what you’re supposed to feel.”   
“Exactly. And I meant it.”   
“Yeah I know. It’s just. I won’t say I’m sorry but I’m fed up with myself. This is what I want. Why can’t it be easier?” surprised at his own openness he waited patiently for the other man to respond. 

“Who says it’s hard, Tony? Relationships are always a bit rocky and uncomfortable in the beginning. I being your boss and male at that doesn’t really help. We’ll be learning about each other’s quirks as we go. Patience really is a virtue, you know?” he finished smirking to lighten the mood.

The smile he got in return was reward enough. 

“So how do we do this Jethro?”  
“Well I’d say you do what you usually do when you go to bed. Take of your clothes, take care of business and get under the sheets. Familiar concept?” a cheeky wink was thrown Tony’s way for good measure.  
“You bet. Pj’s?” the younger man laughed.   
“Wardrobe. Help yourself.”

Tony got up, picked a shirt and shorts and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, take care of business and change. He knew Jethro always had a spare toothbrush somewhere. Anticipation and all that, was the obvious explanation.

Ten minutes later he emerged of the bathroom and made his way back to Jethro’s bedroom. This was officially unnerving him. What side of the bed did Jethro prefer? Did he want to, god forbid, cuddle? What if he couldn’t keep his body from reacting to the other man? 

Shaking his head he stepped into the room and lost all of his nervousness when he saw Jethro lying in bed waiting for him. He leaned against the doorframe to study the picture. His lover had moved a bit to the left to make room for him. He was fast asleep again and it seemed like he couldn’t be bothered by anything. 

One thing we have in common. We can sleep anywhere, anytime. Tony thought. He liked the similarities between them. At first he’d never had thought that there would be any between them but now he knew better. They both lived for the job, put it first when need be. And most importantly, they were passionate about the things they cared for and about. 

Slipping into bed behind Jethro he sighed deeply and content. This was the real thing. He could get used to this easily. Smiling softly he snuggled closer to the body next to him and took a moment to savour the feeling. He always liked sleeping next to somebody else. This was so much better than everything he had experienced before. This was with the person that was in his heart. This was Jethro.

 

TBC? (your choice *smile*)

Well, the end was a bit sappy but I got frustrated with it coz it just didn’t want to flow. If you guys want more you’ll have to tell me :-)


	4. Cup of Coffee

Tony woke up to a weird noise. Mind still muddled with sleep he only slowly got back his bearings and finally fully conscious he realized that it was rain, pure and simple. Snuggling deeper into the warmth next to him to get away from the thoughts of a cold and rainy day he also only then noticed that the warmth wasn’t a very nice blanket, no it was a body. It was Jethro whom he had snuggled up to without thinking about it twice.

He was curled around his lover from behind and had him in a firm embrace. Not wanting to limit Jethro when he wanted to move, Tony slowly and progressively loosened his arms. The reaction he got however was surprising to say the least. Gibbs started grumbling ever so slightly and pushed himself further against Tony’s firm and toned body and the younger man couldn’t help but chuckle warmly at Jethro’s antics. 

He sobered up quickly though. The situation and it unusualness struck him full force in a matter of seconds. He was in a relationship now. With his very male and not so very heterosexual Boss. Tony couldn’t help but think back to only a few weeks before when life had been completely different and not in an all around good way. 

He had been a lady’s man, popular with everyone, especially the girls… the hot and young ones. In hindsight he now had to admit that, in a way, he had always looked down on his friends in steady relationships or marriages. He had never wanted the fights, the settling down, the steadiness (or boringness?) of a committed couple. And now he knew that it had all been hypocrisy. In the end they were all happier with what they had found than he had ever been. He had done all the daring and dirty things they may dream about. But did it make him feel better? No. He had run from commitment in any way, shape or form. 

He had run from himself. 

And he didn’t want to anymore. Jethro was his chance at happiness and at getting to know himself, the real Anthony M. DiNozzo.

He had insisted on living the sweet life. Clubbing, sex the whole nine yards. He had never known he could be bitter from the sweet though. In the end he had nothing to look back upon other than a string of one night stands. The only good thing in his life were his friends, his job and Jethro. He had been to paradise in the past years, sure, but it was short-lived, only for the duration of one night, maybe even a few more. 

Tony knew he was hard on himself but he couldn’t help it. His sleeping around had been part of a role he had played. And it had cost too much. The subtle whoring had left him empty and jaded. Sure he had been free but had he really wanted that? Commitment was a scary thought but now with Jethro in his arms things were rapidly changing. He could see himself being in it for the long haul with the other man. 

And that thought warmed him and filled the emptiness he had never admitted to be feeling.

“Hey, you’re thinking too lound.” Startled Tony blinked a few times until he realized that Jethro must have woken up some time during his musings. “Sorry,” he whispered sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s ok. I slept longer already than I usually do anyway. No worries.” Jethro had grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently to reassure. Squeezing back Tony contented himself with just laying there and enjoying the moment. He was sure that moments like this one would be pretty rare with their busy schedule. On top of that Tony also knew about “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” and was aware of the fact that they couldn’t just spend every night with each other. Even if he wanted exactly that now after having gotten a taste at what life with his new lover could be like. 

“What were you thinking about?” Jethro interrupted his thoughts. “Me.Us. Everything.” Tony didn’t elaborate and Jethro let it go. They both knew that they would have more than one serious discussion. Didn’t mean they had to now. Enjoying the closeness and quiet they both sighed contentedly simultaneously. Laughing at the timing they snuggled closer together and it was then that Tony became aware of a rather pressing problem.

He was hard. Very much so.

Blushing he tried to separate his lower body from Jethro’s inconspicuously but the whispered “Stop.” Made him reconsider. “Sorry” was all he brought out and it did sound slightly chocked, in his own ears at least.

“I don’t care, ok? It’s your body, your reactions so I don’t mind. I like to feel the way you react to me even if this is most likely the usual morning wood. We don’t have to do anything about this right now; we can just stay like this. Just don’t be embarrassed.” Gently stroking Tony’s hand with his thumb Jethro succeeded in reassuring the younger man. Tony placed a soft kiss on Jethro’s right shoulder blade. “Thanks. You always know exactly what to say without making me feel stupid.” He admitted hesitantly. 

“My pleasure. I want you to be at ease with your body and its reactions to me, or other situations we might find ourselves in. I know there are many myths about and around gay sex. As we go, you’ll realize that not all of it is true. I’m looking forward to sharing that with you.” Jethro explained. He was grateful that they weren’t face to face for this particular discussion. He wouldn’t have minded but he was also aware that Tony most likely was still insecure. Jethro had been elated when Tony agreed to spend the night and sleep in his bed. The awkwardness now hadn’t been all that surprising and it made Tony all the more endearing. The young man triggered a sense of protectiveness in him, he had thought long lost. And he didn’t mind at all.

Tony was happy to have found a caring and accepting partner in Jethro. He knew better than to take it as granted. Still he grew increasingly fidgety as time passed. His hard-on just wouldn’t go away as much as he wanted it to and he knew that he had to take care of it some time soon or things would become really embarrassing.

“Do you mind if I get up and use the bathroom?” he whispered in the other man’s ear. “Not at all. But if you want we can take care of it in a different way.” Slightly taken aback Tony stiffened against Jethro’s body. “Hey, not what you think. Let me demonstrate and if don’t like it and want some privacy in the bathroom I won’t be offended. Just give it a try.” Seemingly having lost his voice Tony just nodded and trusted Jethro to interpret the head movement.

That he had indeed understood what Tony wanted to convey was obvious when the older man started to grind backwards. The friction made Tony gasp and he bit his lip to stifle any embarrassing sounds. Jethro continued the grinding motion when he didn’t feel any resistance from the man behind him. He wriggled a bit more to give different kinds of sensations and Tony couldn’t do anything but groan helplessly.

“You like?” Jethro asked, smugness evident in his voice.  
“You need to ask?” was the sarcastic reply and the husky voice made Gibbs shiver.

All the while he continued to help Tony get off. As the other man was getting closer and closer Gibbs’s grinding motion was met by light thrusting from Tony. The thrusts grew more and more erratic and hard, the closer he got and when pleasure became too overwhelming he gave in to the urge to come. With a needy whimpering sound he buried his head into the nape of Jethro’s neck and continued lightly humping the other man’s ass to ride out his climax.

Lying perfectly still Tony tried to get back to normal but he was completely blissed out. “Wow.” Was all he could come up with and it earned him a throaty chuckle from Gibbs. “I take it you are satisfied?” he asked jokingly and at Tony’s heartfelt “In every sense of the word.” He laughed openly. 

This was the perfect way to get the day started. 

Still feeling like his brain had short circuited, Tony tried to get back to normal. In the meantime, Jethro tried to arrange himself more comfortably. He was hard as rock but didn’t want Tony to feel pressured into getting him off too. He gasped however when he felt a hand that was definitely not his own brush over the front of his boxers.

“Hey,” Tony chuckled teasingly, “You happy to see me?”

“Guess.” Was Jethro’s reply and it did sound strangled. “My guess is that you’re pretty turned on.” Tony elaborated as he continued to map out the other man’s cock with his fingertips. Groaning Jethro had to take a moment. “What was your first hint?” he was pretty proud that his brain and mouth still cooperated and didn’t leave him high and dry, faced with so much enticing stimulation. “Oh you know, I have my hand on a very accurate barometer of your feelings, believe me!”

It took the other man all he had to grab Tony’s hand and stop him from continuing. “No,” was all he could choke out in the beginning. He knew he had to elaborate and explain himself tough. Tony had tensed behind him and that sure as hell wasn’t a good sign. He turned around to face his younger lover and cursed himself colourfull but silently for causing the apparent hurt he could make out in Tony’s eyes. 

“Listen Tony, it’s not that I don’t want you to take care of me like that, not at all.” The hurt diminished slowly but an eyebrow rose questioningly. “I don’t want you to feel obliged to do this for me because I got you off before. This isn’t “Tit for Tat”. I want you to have all your bearings when you finally decide you’re ready to take this step. Not high on endorphins with a momentarily wrong sense of obligation.” Tony still looked somewhat unsure but seemed to understand the other man’s reasoning.

Surprising Jethro completely, he buried himself in the older man’s arms. “You’re too much of a gentleman for your own good,” he whispered, voice muffled by the other man’s body. “Thanks though, I guess.” He finished with a small kiss to the bare skin of Jethro’s torso.

Cuddling some more, this time it was Jethro’s turn to fidget. The sounds Tony had made during their more heated moment before had gotten him all hot and bothered and only deeply ingrained self-control had kept him from rubbing himself off against the blanket. 

“Jethro?” the tentative note in Tony’s voice made the other man slightly wary. Still he replied “Yeah?”

A short pause, then “Can I see you?” “Tony-“ Gibbs started but was interrupted quickly and forcefully.

“No, please listen to me, ok? I know you don’t want me to do this for you right now but I still want to see you. This is new and exciting for me. Sure, in a way I’m scared shitless that I will fuck this up, but I’m not as fragile as you might think I am. Insecure about the sexual part? Yeah, I admit that without hesitation. But I’m also curious about what it’s going to be like a with another man. I just want to see what you look like.” Tony was earnest, Jethro could read that much un the other man’s eyes. Hesitating for a ashort moment he the finally nodded his head in agreement. 

Seeing the bright smile on Tony’s face, he knew he had made the right choice.

Backing off a bit to get a better look, Tony first took in the tented front of Jethro’s boxers. He tentatively brushed against the covered tip, keeping his touch tantalizingly soft and Jethro tried not to push back to increase the friction. Tony seemed to understand though and firmed his touch a bit. It didn’t take long before he slipped his hand into the loose underwear and took hold of the other man’s erection. It felt thick and heavy in his hand. Similar to his own but completely different at the same time. He loved the smooth texture and the hardness. Velvet steel.

“You feel good in my hand. Like you always belonged there,” Tony mused. It wasn’t exactly dirty talk but it turned Jethro on all the same. His arousal reached new heights and a deep, throaty groan escaped his lips before he could even think about trying to keep it in.

When he felt cool air against his erection, Jethro knew that Tony had taken his cock out if its confines. The teasing strokes may be helping Tony to get a better feel of the other man but did virtually nothing for said man’s problem. Slightly worried by the silence, Jethro opened his eyes.

The expression on Tony’s face told him that he needn’t have worried. The younger man’s face was a testimony of stunned amazement.

“Wow. This is just… wow. I’ve seen other men’s packages before. But never hard because it was me who had gotten them into that state.” Smiling at Jethro, Tony gave him a quick peck on the lips. True to his word he tucked jethro’s erection in again and snuggled closer some more.

Still hard as steel, Jethro however couldn’t keep in the contented sigh that seemed to come from the very core of his being. They stayed like this for a few more minutes.

!Sorry Tony, but I really need to use the bathroom,” Jethro pointed out apologetically. He liked the warmth and quiet he was experiencing with his younger lover but the throbbing heat between his legs made it hard not to fidget constantly or let his thoughts take a more x-rated turn. He wanted to savour this properly.

Ok. I’ll take a quick shower in the guest bathroom if that’s alright with you?” Tony looked slightly sheepish and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. His boxers were most likely sticky with come and showering became a better and better idea by the minutes as the mess in his underwear continued to stick.

“Sure, go right ahead. Breakfast after shower?” Jethro inquired. “Sounds good to me,” Tony smiled.

They had spent their first night together and taken another step into the right direction. Annd they were together for every step of their way.

 

Even though both men shared different showers, they still had very similar thoughts. Both wished for the other man to be with them. Jethro especially. Getting off in the shower might seem undignified and the object of his affections was quite close by, but considering their mutual agreement on taking it slow, masturbating to Jethro was vital to ensure his immediate sanity.

Getting out of the shower they met again in the master bedroom to get some clothes on. It was an easy going affair and turned funny the moment that yes, Jethro was indeed able to blush. “Wow. The almighty Leroy Jethro Gibbs blushing? Where on earth am I supposed to write down such a memorable moment?” he chuckled and the other man couldn’t help but smile.

Sure it was embarrassing facing the man he had just fantasised about while jerking off but he could definitely live with that when Tony’s response would always be this light hearted.

“Come on, Lover boy.” Jethro smiled and winked much to Tony’s delight. He was amazed as to how much the older man loosened up at home. With him. The thought that he was one of the very few people able to get to know this Jethro left him warm and fuzzy inside. Still, Tony had to admit he wanted to know with whom the other man had gotten his first taste of gay sex and love. It had to have happened after his marriages or in between (still unlikely though) since he pegged Jethro for the faithful kind of partner.

“You still with me?” Jethro’s voice interrupted his musings. “Yea sorry, spaced out for a minute there,” Tony apologized sheepishly. “I hadn’t noticed,” Jethro replied sarcastically but Tony knew, the other man wasn’t angry or upset. The cheeky wink he had gotten was a good a hint as anything else.

Dressing quickly they both finished in no time at all. “You wanna have breakfast?” Jethro inquired again just to make sure as they made their way down the stairs. “Sure. I assume I’ll have to stick for the healthy version. You don’t strike me as the kind of person that secretly worships Captain Crunch.” Tony joked and the other man chuckled in response. “Such amazing investigation skills. Now I know again why I hired you.” He joked back but sobered up quickly when he saw a dark look pass in Tony’s eyes. He wanted to insist on talking about the obvious issue but the younger man stopped him before he could start. “We can have the serious talks some other time, ok? Just not today, please?” their eyes met and after a short moment Jethro nodded. “Ok, but we WILL talk.” “Yeah, thanks,” Tony smiled thankfully and they started preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

Jethro made coffee while Tony put plates, cups and cutterly on the table. Breakfast was a silent but comfortable affair. Tony sighed contentedly at the domestic scene. He could live with this, definitely. As he heard the beep of the coffee machine he almost winced in anticipation though. Jethro hadn’t seen him since he had his back turned. Tony loved coffee, really he did. He was Italian after all. But Jethro’s version of coffee? Not so much. How the older man could down stuff as vile as that was beyond him. Internally bracing himself he took a small sip after Jethro had poured them some. Tony’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Who are you and what have you done to Gibbs?” he asked as seriously as he could..  
“What?” caught completely off guard, all Jethro could do was blink.  
“The coffee. Where is that sludge whose sole purpose it is to take of one’s stomach lining? This is actually… drinkable for the lack of a better word,” Tony explained.

Jethro blinked once more and then couldn’t help but laugh. God was he glad to have started things with the other man. Tony was earnest, sexy, funny an all around everything he wanted in a partner. This little scene only proved him right yet again. 

“Never let it be said I’m not good at compromise. At least when it’s important.” he explained after having calmed down again. “Coffee should be just that, coffee and not become a matter of national security or anything like that.I know you don’t like my coffee and I can live with a less strong version too. At least off duty.” He added with a smirk.

“Ok,” Tony smiled warmly and Jethro was proud of himself for being the reason fof said smile. They finished breakfast in comfortable silence. Jethro noticed that Tony was trying to stall for one reason or another. E pretended to be oblivious until the younger man became too obvious.

“Is there a reason why you’re trying to draw out finishing breakfast?” Not one for majourly beating around the bush, Jehro sprung his question without much further ado.  
“I’m not,” Tony insisted, his chin raised defiantly. Jethro just raised his left eyebrow. “Humour me, will you?”

Tony’s shoulder slumped and he sighed. “Ok, but remember you wanted to know. It’s going to sound stupid. I’m not embarrassed about what I feel but it’s still going to sound stupid.”

“Alright.” Jethro complied. Taking a deep breath Tony prepared himself. “I like spending time with you like this. Much more than I had anticipated. I would love to spend as much time with you as possible. But logically I know that I have to go home at some point today to look after my apartment. I’d like to come back over afterwards but I don’t want to crowd you in.” Tony finished, a soft blush suffusing his cheeks but looking Jethro in the eyes all the same.

Said man reached over the table to cover Tony’s hand with his own and caress the knuckles with his thumb. “Wow,” he started, completely in awe. “I definitely feel honoured. And it doesn’t sound stupid.” He squeezed Tony’s hand for good measure and then continued. “I really want you to know that you’re always welcome here. You have a key to my house even though the door’s never unlocked. Use it. If you want to come over, do it. I really don’t mind. I might have stuff to take care off but you’re still welcome to pay me a visit and stay as long as you like when you feel like it.” Smiling at Tony he took in said man’s relieved expression and completely relaxed posture. He congratulated himself for finding the right words to soothe the other man’s insecurities yet again.

“Ok then I’ll leave now and come back later. It’s only 8h45 anyways. And the weekend.” “Sure, no problem,” Gibbs confirmed. They got up from the kitchen table and Tony went to grab his stuff. At the door however he surprised Jethro by pulling the other man up to him with the front of said man’s shirt and kissing him passionately. More so than the last one they shared but still underlined with loving tenderness and care. Their tongues brushed softly against each other after Tony had licked his way into Jethro’s hot mouth. Trying to not get lost completely in the moment, Tony had to let go eventually. Gentling the kiss progressively he finished it with a quick peck on Jethro’s lips. Opening his eyes he took in the other man’s kiss swollen lips. The sight made heat coil in his belly. It was a good look on the other man and Tony was looking forward to seeing it on a regular basis. 

“Ok, I gotta go,” he said apologetically. “Right, yeah. See you later.” Gibbs replied slightly off balance from the kiss. Another quick peck later he was standing alone in the front hall and felt more alone than he had in a long time.

Shaking his head at his foolish antics he smiled ever so slightly and moved to get busy. He cleaned up the kitchen, made the bed and then went into the basement to take care of his lady. Probably the only woman next to Shannon he really loved. But now his heart and soul belonged to Tony too. He knew that now with absolute certainty. And all it had taken was a night of sleeping together without actually sleeping together.

 

 

Back at his own apartment, Tony first went to his bedroom and let himself fall down on the unmade bed. The silly grin on his face spoke volumes. Life was definitely and positively wonderful right now. It wouldn’t be too bad if Jethro could be here with him, but he would see the other man soon enough. Patience is a virtue he reminded himself. Sighing he got up again to make the tour of his apartment and to decide what needed his immediate attention. He really had to find a cleaning lady. Rather sooner than later, honestly. With his working hours and the busy schedule he just didn’t manage to keep up the cleanliness of his apartment. How his lover did it, he had no idea.

The kitchen for once didn’t look too bad. Of course that was until he opened the fridge. Taking in the food of various stages of decomposition he tentatively reached into the fridge to get rid of everything that looked or smelled funny. Than left him with 2 eggs, half a pound of butter and several bottles of water. Well that definitely wouldn’t do for lunch. Mentally putting together his shopping list an idea formed in his head. Today he wanted to cook for Jethro. He would shop, drive over to his lover’s and make them pasta with the special DiNozzo sauce. 

The recipe was well ingrained in his memory. As a kid it had been his comfort food but obviously tasted good on other occasions too. Nonna had always prepared it for him when he felt down. It reminded him of the resolute and feisty woman that was long dead now.

Not wanting to dwell on the loss and pushing the dark thought away he went to the bedroom to grad his overnight bag. Just in case, he told himself. The drive to his favourite shop was short as usual. Just as he was about to get in line to pay his cell started ringing and buzzing. Curiously checking who was calling, he smiled when the caller ID told him that it was Stan. Stan Burley.

After their rocky start during the drug-case they had kept in touch after having solved it successfully. Shaking the somewhat bitter memories off he answered the call

“Hey sailor, what’s up?” Tony greeted cheerfully  
“I’m good sexmachine,” Stan replied equally chipper. “How are things in Washington?”  
“The usual, you know. Lots of work, crazy cases. Nothing new. Listen, can I get back to you?I’m grocery chopping right now, ok?”  
“No worries, shorty. The other man drawled and then chuckled. “Don’t be a stranger.”  
“No way, later.” Tony finished and hung up.

Smiling at his cell, Tony pocketed again and moved to pay for the stuff in his caddy. His thoughts however were in the past. He was glad, Stan had called him after they had closed the case. They clearly had started of on the wrong foot and Tony’s insecurities had still been quite close to the surface. Stan’s finishing speech when they had left the carrier had only helped so much. When the other man had come to Washington a few weeks after, the had met for drinks and Stan had actually apologized. 

 

Flashback

“Tony, I have to apologize.” The other man’s uneasiness struck Tony immediately and put him on alert.  
“What for?” he asked hesitantly even though he had a pretty good idea what this was all about.   
“For being an ass. I treated you like shit when you and the team came to help me. I wanted to test you since you were my replacement. I’m sorry Tony really.” The sincerity that shone in Stan’s eyes convinced Tony that the other man truly felt bad and Tony couldn’t hold a grudge to save his life, faced with so much regret.   
“Alright. Apology accepted. I had a feeling it had to be something like that. You were just looking out for the team. I’ve got nothing to hold against you. We’re good.” He replied.  
Stan sighed with relief and then chuckled “My bad, shorty.” It was then that Tony’s second nick “shorty” next to “sexmachine”, had been born.

Flashback End

Tony remembered insisting on Stan visiting Headquarters’ but the other man had been adamant. Claiming to be too busy he was gone two days later. Tony had felt that something was off but he didn’t question the other man. If there really was a reason for not visiting his ex-co workers it was likely to be private and Tony didn’t want to pry. At that point, 4 almost 5 years ago, their friendship had been too new. Now things were different. Stan knew that Tony was bi and had the latter man’s complete trust when it came to that particular secret. He had yet to tell him about his newest relationship though. Maybe when he would call him later. No, not maybe, definitely. Tony corrected himself resolutely. 

Arriving at Jethro’s house, this time Tony didn’t knock nor hesitate. He just stepped into the other man’s home in which he was welcome now too at all times. Not hearing Jethro pottering around in the house and having seen the door down to the basement slightly ajar Tony knew where to look if he wanted to find his lover. He continued his way into the kitchen where he put his bags down on the counter. Methodically taking out item after item he placed them where he would need them eventually. Then he set to work. 

Cracking open the eggs he mixed them with the flour he had measured before, added water and started to knead the dough into a consistent mass. Letting it rest while it was covered by a kitchen towel he started to prepare the sauce. The delicious smell made him smile involuntarily and it became infinitely broader when he felt Jethro hugging him from behind. “Hey you, this is a nice surprise. Thanks.” He said and kissed Tony’s exposed neck. The younger man tilted his head to give his lover better access and Jethro took the invitation. Gladly. Continuing to kiss and lick Tony’s neck, the completely got lost in the moment. Jethro let go eventually though. They both continued cooking in companiable silence with the older man following Tony’s instructions to the letter.

A little more than an hour later they sat at the kitchen table, eating “DiNozzo’s Spaghetti Bolognese Speziale”. That the young man could really cook was obvious from the way he knew his way around the different spices, ingredients and the kitchen as a whole. The taste was simply amazing. Jethro had no idea that homemade pasta could taste like this. He was not one to being averse to cooking himself and loved homemade food but had never really bothered making pasta himself. It was easier to just buy the noodles when he went grocery shopping. Now he knew what he had missed out on though.

“Thanks for lunch Tony. It was delicious.” Jethro complimented his younger lover after having finished their meal. Blushing, Tony shyly ducked his head. “You’re welcome,” he muttered, clearly pleased and embarrassed at the same time.

“Do you have any plans for this afternoon?” Jethro asked after clearing the table and washing the dishes. Tony took a short moment to contemplate. “No, not really. You?” “Yeah, actually I’ve got to run some errands. If you want you can stay here until I come back and make yourself at home. Your call.”

“I’d love to,” the younger man decided without hesitation. The warm smile and the tenderness shining in his eyes clearly showed his appreciation of Gibbs being so considerate.

“Ok. I don’t know how long it’ll take but I’ll be definitely back as soon as I can.” A nod from Tony and a sweet kiss later the young man was on his own. He took the time to slowly and thoroughly inspect his new lover’s house. He was surprised and equally amazed at Jethro’s choice of literature. There were English, German and even French and Italian classics to be found. Tony knew most of them from having heard about them. He had only read a few of them but all of the Italian ones. Carefully caressing the bindings of his favourite book “Seta” that also had a place on Jethro’s shelve he felt yet again confirmed that they were right for each other.

Finishing his extensive tour of the house he let himself fall onto the couch in the living room from which he coincidently had a great view of the back of the front hall. Coincidence my ass, he snorted at himself. With nothing else to do and since it was only 2o’clock anyways he flipped open his cell and dialled Stan’s number.

“Hey shorty, didn’t think you’d be calling so soon.” Stan’s cheerful voice sounded through the headpiece.   
Frowning, Tony excused himself. “Sorry, you busy? I can always call later.”  
“Nah, I’m good, not busy. Just surprised, that’s all,” the other man explained.  
“Great. It’s been ages since we talked. How’s life right now?” the young man’s natural curiosity was evident in the question and his voice.  
“Couldn’t be better. I’m on shore leave. Sort of. Some internal problems. I might come to Washington in a few days. Not a lot to do here. “Stan elaborated.  
“Awesome. I’m looking forward to it!”  
“Yeah me too. I’m in desperate need for some action. You on for a night of clubbing?” Stan asked.

Tony hesitated. Did he want to go and hit the clubs? He never really had without the intent of finding a willing partner for the night. Clubbing just for fun would be a completely novel experience. “You still there?”

Tony’s thoughts were interrupted by the other man’s question.  
“Yeah sorry just thinking. Clubbing is fine.” He agreed. He would talk with Gibbs later.  
“Don’t get too excited sexmachine,” Stan chuckled sarcastically. Sighing Tony explained. “It’s not that. But I’m in a relationship right now. An exclusive one. So there will be dancing and drinking but the getting-some-action-part is reserved for you.”

Stunned silence,then. “Wow. You sound serious. Male or female?” the other man asked curiously  
“Male” was Tony’s short reply.  
“Hey shorty. You’re cheating on me?” Stan joked but became serious quickly. “Just kidding kiddo. I’m glad for you as long as you’re happy. Don’t let yourself be pressured into anything, ok?” 

Tony could make out the worry in Stan’s voice immediately. It warmed his heart and he had to smile at the other man’s protectiveness. They may not be best friends but they might as well. Trust was unconditional and Stan knew about Tony’s inexperience with the male sex even if the interest for experiments was there. He wished Tony to find a great partner who went easy on him and slowly initiated him into the pleasures of gay love and sex. Stan had told him exactly that when they had come out to each other and the recollection of that conversation was still vivid.

“Don’t worry,” he tried to placate the other man. “I’m really happy and careful too. He’s cool about waiting and giving me time. No pressure on me other than my own.” Tony admitted the last part hesitantly.  
“I understand, believe me, I really understand. Just don’t push yourself too far too soon. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Promise?” Stan insisted  
Another warm smile surfaced on Tony’s face. ”Yeah, I promise. Hold on a sec.” Tony had heard a car in the driveway but couldn’t exactly tell whether it was his lover’s or not. He looked up just in time to hear Jethro entering the front hall.

“Hey Tony, I’m back.” Jethro called and Tony replied immediately. “On the phone. I’m with you, once I hung up.” “Yeah, take your time. No rush.” Tony grinned and pulled the cell up to his ear again.

“Hey man, you still with me?” he asked only to be confronted with ominous silence.  
“That was Gibbs, wasn’t it?” it was a statement more than a question and, by all rights, it shouldn’t have been.  
“Yeah?” Tony answered, unsure what to make of Stan’s voice. It didn’t sound exactly distant, but came not even close to the cheerfulness from before.  
“So you and the boss?” Stan asked, coming to the right conclusion immediately.   
“Yeah. Listen, I wanted to tell you in person and not let you find out like this. It’s not that I don’t trust you but… “ Tony left the sentence open helplessly.  
“It’s ok, I understand. Just watch out, ok?”  
“We already covered that, remember?” Tony was frowning now, the feeling that he was missing something becoming stronger by the second.  
“No, you don’t understand. Watch out for your heart, ok?” 

And suddenly it clicked. It all made sense now. 

The talk about the mystery person in Washington he had fallen for. 

The confession of not being able to forget after having been thrown away. 

The drunken tears.

“God, Stan,” Tony closed his eyes and moaned. “Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.” He literally begged.  
“I can’t” was the short and choked reply he got. Before he could say anything at all, Stan started again. “Listen Tony… I… I have to go now. I’ll call you, I promise, I just… I can’t talk right now, ok?”  
“Yeah,” Tony whispered softly. He still had however a pressing question to ask. “Are we still friends?” his voice was so soft, Stan almost didn’t hear him.  
The silence that greeted Tony didn’t bode well but then. “Yes, we are. Never doubt that.” Tony was relieved to hear the conviction and sincerity in the other man’s voice.   
“Ok. Call me, Promise?” he insisted all the same.  
“I will,” was all he got as reply before hearing the dial tone...

TBC

Read and review please ::smile::


	5. Cup of Coffee

  
Author's notes: Well folks, this is the new chapter. There won’t be as much Tony/Gibbs since I concentrated a bit more on Stan… and yes, that means he makes an appearance in this chapter. I also will explain his history with Gibbs so please bear with me. I hope you’ll like it.

Oh yeah one more thing. I have no real medical knowledge whatsoever and likely never will have. Please keep that in mind while you read the story.lol

!!! Spoilers for “SWAK” and “Requiem”!!!  


* * *

Flipping his cell shut Tony threw it on the table in front of the couch.

What a fucked up situation!

Groaning he let himself fall backwards and closed his eyes. He knew he had to talk to Jethro about all this but right now he didn’t exactly know how. He couldn’t help but think back upon the night when Stan Burley had confessed his painful history with a man in Washington. He had fallen in love, head over heals. And he had flirted with the object of his desire and affection. One night they had ended up in bed together and Stan had seen his dream come true.

Until the next morning when he had been discarded like a broken piece of furniture.

Two weeks later he transferred, not being able to stay in the same city. Tony had never inquired further, mindful of the pain he could easily make out in the other man’s eyes. No he asked himself how stupid he had been to not being able to make the connection.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand on his knee. Tony opened his eyes to see Jethro in front of him, sitting on the living room table.

Concern shone in the older man’s electric blue eyes. “Something wrong?” “I don’t know.” Tony answered, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. The crease on Jethro’s forehead became more prominent, the frown deeper. Taking in Tony’s slumped posture he knew that this had to have to do with the phone call. A few minutes ago, when he had come home, all had been fine. It wasn’t anymore though.

“Who was on the phone?” he tried a different approach.

“Stan.” That one name was enough for Jethro to understand.

“Does he know? Or do you know?” he asked his younger lover warily. He knew that this situation had the potential to seriously damage everything between him and Tony. This could go well or straight to hell. All he knew was that he had to be truthful and careful.

“Both.” Again only one word. Monosyllabic. Tony was trying to distance himself, Jethro could tell.

“Can we talk about this? Please?” the older man pleaded. Tony watched him intently, then nodding his consent, patted the spot on the couch next to himself. As Jethro sat down Tony let himself be pulled closer by his lover.

“I didn’t want Stan and me to be a secret between us. Not that there really was a “we” when it came to him and me.” Jethro started after a short moment of contemplation. “Before you and I got together we were never the type of friends who talked about our past or present love life.”

Tony only nodded in agreement but otherwise remained silent.

“I wanted to tell you about it now that we are together. Before I didn’t really know your point of view on gays. Now I do but I wasn’t quick enough.” Jethro sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s ok.” Tony replied. “It was pure coincidence that he called me today. He’s on shore leave. Trouble between the higher-ups, that kind of thing.” He explained. “We became friends after the drug case on his carrier. Couple of phone calls, a few nights out. I knew he had a history with somebody here. I just never made the connection. Until now.

“I hate to say it but for me Stan was never “The One”. Jethro sighed deeply. “He was a friend, a good Special Agent and an even better Senior Field Agent. And he was completely in love with me. He worshipped the ground I walked on, it was clear as daylight. One night I took him up on his offer.” Jethro shook his head at himself. “The sex was good, perfect maybe even and he thought we were together but for me we never could be anything more than friends. There was no way to let him down gently so I approved and signed the Directors request to have him transferred. I can still see the hurt in his eyes when he got the news. I might have never loved him like a lover but I hated hurting him.” The older man paused for a moment, then continued. “When he called me for help as his case got too much I knew it was wrong to agree. Somehow I thought that maybe by helping him I could ease my consciousness… too bad it doesn’t work that way. I thought that maybe I could make it up to him by helping but one look at his face when we got there and I knew that I had made a mistake. It was then when we had the final fallout. The antics we put on for you and Kate were nothing else but good acting skills.”

Tony nodded but still remained silent. “You mad at me?” Jethro asked hesitantly. Slowly, Tony turned to face his older lover and took in his unsure and somewhat nervous expression.

“No, I’m not mad. But I feel bad for Stan. I found a lover but I get the feeling that I’m about to lose a very good friend. He said we would stay friends but…. He hurts so much. I could feel it every time he talked about you.” Tony explained and nudging Jethro he continued. “And I’m not saying that to make you feel bad… or worse for that matter. I’m just stating a fact. Have you ever talked since then?”

Jethro shook his head regretfully. “No. He made it clear that he didn’t want to talk to me again, let alone see me and I have to accept that,” he told his younger lover.

“But I’ll still meet up with him when he’s here. I want to talk to him.” Tony pointed out.

“Sure”, Jethro agreed readily. He didn’t want to limit Tony in any way, shape or form. He didn’t really like clubbing even though he had sometimes indulged in the past. He didn’t want his younger lover to let go of the things he liked doing just because they were involved now. He may be a possessive bastard but he trusted Tony to stay faithful. They were excusive and Tony, he was sure, would respect that.

He was glad that the younger man wasn’t mad at him. Stan hadn’t meant as much to him then, as Tony did now, he knew that. But knowing about Tony’s insecurities, he also was aware that this would have repercussions. Maybe not now but some day this would become an issue, he was sure.

When he felt Tony slightly pull away he knew that it would be now and not later. He waited a bit, gave his lover the chance to gather himself but didn’t want to wait too long. He knew that Tony was a trained investigator, a superb Special Agent but sometimes his judgement would be clouded by memories of the past and logical reasoning would fly out of the window.

“What’s the matter?” he asked softly, not wanting to startle the young man, still leaning against him.

“Nothing.” A lie, Jethro knew that much immediately. The answer had come too quick, the tone had been laced ever so slightly with doubt, only obvious for the marine and Special Agent in him.

“I don’t think it’s nothing. Something’s bothering you.” He pried gently.

“I’m so stupid!” Tony uttered in response, something similar to...self-hatred clearly distinguishable in his voice.

“No you’re not. Why would you think something like that?” Jethro asked perplexed. Of all the things he had anticipated, this hadn’t been on his list.

“Because it’s true.” Tony stated forcefully before freeing himself from his lover’s arms and standing at the opposite wall.

“I don’t understand, Tony.” Jethro clearly was at a loss as to what to do. Tony’s cryptic statements didn’t leave him much to work with but it all seemed to make sense in his lover’s mind. “Please talk to me.” He pleaded.

Tony just shook his head. “I’m such a moron. How could I believe that I…-“ he broke off before he could reveal the reason of his turmoil

“What, Tony? What?” Jethro insisted. He had stood up in the meantime but stayed in front of the younger man, mindful of his obvious wish to keep some semblance of a distance.

“That I could be good enough for you.” He finally whispered dejectedly.

“Tony, how..?”

“I’m nothing special, Gibbs. I have enough baggage from my childhood for ten people, no experience when it comes to sex with another man. I cannot possibly give you all the things you need. All the things you deserve. There is so much more to Stan than there ever will be to me and he wasn’t want you wanted. How can I be even close to anything you deserve? You’re too good for me.”

Jethro was completely stunned. His heart ached at his lover’s obvious distress. He slowly stepped forward and touched Tony’s shoulder. The younger man had taken to hugging himself and the picture he presented was heart wrenching.

“Tony, you’re everything I want. Everything I need to be happy.” He said, the conviction in his voice startling the other man.

“How can I!?” Tony whispered, this time sounding choked.

“God, Tony. Come here.” He wrapped his arms around his lover’s shaking form and rubbed his back reassuringly. At the same time he started talking.

“You, Tony, are the best thing that could have happened to me. What you lived through during your childhood changes nothing in he way I see you. When I look at you I see an attractive and vibrant young man who always brightens my day and whom I fell in love with. You’re not Stan, true; you have no sexual experience with men, but who cares? I don’t need you to, to be happy with you. So you never have been a senator’s aide, so he might have a few more diplomas than you do. What you give me, your devotion, your trust, your love, that’s what matters most to me. I feel more for you than I could ever feel for Stan.” He placed a soft kiss on Tony’s forehead and grabbed a hand.

Continuing to soothe his lover, he placed it over his heart. “Do you feel it? Feel my heart beat? That’s what you do to me. When you scare me on the job it beats so much faster because I’m afraid to loose the best thing that happened to me in a long time, if not ever. When I’m with you, like this or in bed, I’m happy and excited because I took the chance to be with the person I fell in love with. “

He slowly framed Tony’s wet face with his hands and looked him deep in the eye. “All I want, all I need is right here in my arms.” He finished and placed a warm and chaste kiss on his lover’s soft lips. When he felt Tony’s body loose all its tension and melt against his, he knew that they had worked past this for the moment. Sighing relieved, he wrapped his arms around Tony again and they stayed in the same position for a long long time, taking comfort of the other’s presence and body heat.

Tony and Jethro spent the following days off getting to know each other better. The first crisis had been managed well by both of them and had Tony been embarrassed later, his lover was quick to convince him that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

They went running together, played a few games of pick up basketball and essentially just enjoyed having a good time. Tony had even taken to help Gibbs with the boat and was undeniably fascinated by the lady laying in Jethro’s basement. Jethro felt elated and every time he caught his lover touch or look “Kelly” over reverently his heart warmed.

Also in bed thing progressed at a steady pace. They had moved on to mutual handjobs but sometimes just indulged in gentle kissing until they fell asleep. Tony was comfortable and happy with how things came along. Life was good.

Almost too good.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS 

When a young girl came in to NCIS the day they all started again Tony knew she was bad news. Well maybe not the girl herself but there sure as hell would be trouble. When they finally found out that she was Gibbs’s deceased daughter’s best friend Tony just knew that his lover would be too emotionally involved to ask for help from the team.

Sitting at his desk, he was lost in thoughts as his cell rang. It was Stan

“Hey there, what can I do for you?” he answered, trying to sound cheerful but he had the distinct impression that he failed. Miserably.

“Hey,” Stan started hesitantly and confirmed Tony’s suspicions. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Never better actually. Where you at?” Tony asked and hoped that the other man would know that couldn’t really talk right now.

“Ok shorty, we’ll talk later. I’m at the airport right now. Washington. Can I stay at your apartment until you get home?” Stan asked.

“Sure, no problem. You know where the key is. It might be a while until I’ll be able to quit for the day but you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. Be my guest.”

“Thanks man. And watch out, you hear me? No silly stunts!” the other man was serious, that much was obvious but Tony knew that this was a promise he wasn’t sure he could make, let alone keep. “I’ll try”.

“Ok,” Stan sighed. “Later, shorty”

Only a few minutes later Tony was in his car, speeding to the address Abby had given him. God he hated when Jethro did that. Why couldn’t the other man just ask for help like any other sane person on this planet. Hitting the steering wheel furiously he told himself that the tears welling up in his eyes were from the resulting pain and because he was scared shitless for his boss, friend and lover.

Reaching pier 5 at the Southwestern Marine he arrived just in time to see the whit car drive backwards with breakneck speed, shoot over the pier and sink. With the kind of power that resulted from nothing else but sheer desperation he took down the dirtbags before flinging away his gun, taking a deep breath and jumping into the water.

He hadn’t anticipated the water being so excruciatingly cold. His lungs froze up in the initial shock but Tony continued anyhow. Relief flooded through him when he saw the two people in the car but the girl, Maddie her name was, already lost consciousness. Tony came to the only logical conclusion. There must be a problem otherwise Jethro would have gotten her out already. He had to break away the windshield before he could move back up with Maddie and decision of leaving his lover behind was the hardest of his life. Lungs aching for oxygen he finally broke through the surface, left her on the dock and jumped back him for Jethro.

His heart literally stopped when he saw his lover’s unmoving and unconscious body. Freeing him as fast as he could Tony again made the journey back to the surface. As soon as he had his lover on the dock he started CPR. He was torn whether to start with his lover or his lover’s deceased daughter’s best friend but Jethro had been under water for a lot longer than Maddie. The following minutes seemed to be the longest of his life. When he finally saw his lover move as he was in the middle of administering CPR to Maddie he sat back heavily on his haunches and tried to control his erratic breathing.

A fruitless effort. He had exhausted himself beyond the point that was healthy and with history with the plague Tony knew that this couldn’t possibly end good for him. “The heck. Jethro and the girl will live. That’s the most important.” He muttered to himself. Growing increasingly cold he wanted to get up and retrieve one of the dirtbag’s cell and call ambulances and backup.

Tony’s body had other ideas though. His knees buckled and he hit the floor again, a lot harder than he had anticipated as soon as he felt himself falling. He felt his body start to shut down and tried to keep the darkness at bay.

“Tony?” Jethro croaked and the younger man looked at his lover questioningly.

“You cold?” Tony asked with the last of his energy.

The older man just shook his head and softly whispered “I’m sorry.”

“No worries.” Smiling, Tony cupped Jethro’s cheek and lost consciousness.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS 

The first thing Gibbs became aware of as he regained consciousness was a hand lying on his chest right over his heart and an insistent beeping noise. Characteristics of a hospital he sighed internally. Slowly opening his eyes he took in the sight. He was indeed in hospital, laying flat on his back with all kinds of wires around him. His attention fixed on the person sitting on his left side though. It was Tony. He was bundled up in numerous blankets and still seemed to be cold if the shivers running through him in steady intervals were anything to go by. It was also Tony’s hand that rested over his heart.

He remembered what happened. Maddie and him being stuck under water in the car, Tony rescuing them. Kelly telling him to go back, Tony’s face and said man’s body laying next to him after having blacked out. Somehow medics and backup had arrived shortly after the shit had hit the fan. They were all brought back to the same hospital but at some point the darkness had consumed Jethro again.

“Hey,” Tony said softly. “Welcome back in the land of the living.”

All Jethro could do was nod his head. Guilt wracked him and he almost couldn’t meet Tony’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Tony.” He whispered.

The other man just looked at him. “I know you are, Jethro. Right now you concentrate on getting better. We’ll talk later.”

“Ok,” the other man conceded. He was exhausted already. A sure sign of hypothermia. Closing his hand around Tony’s and squeezing it reassuringly he gave in to the darkness again. Still not letting go, Tony stayed with his lover until a nurse called him.

“Mr DiNozzo? I need to get you back to your doctor. Your test results have arrived.” Sighing deeply Tony forced himself to let go.

“Can I call somebody to visit? I don’t have any family here and some company would be great.” Tony didn’t care about giving away too much information to a virtual stranger. He was exhausted, cold and sick with worry for his lover. He didn’t care about a whole lot save Jethro’s health and recovery.

“Of course, Mr. DiNozzo. Just give me the name and I’ll leave a note for the head nurse, so there won’t be any problems.” She smiled gently and Tony more than appreciated the effort.

“Thanks,” he looked at her name tag, “Amanda.”

He gave her the name and corresponding cell number and arriving at his room Tony was greeted by Dr. Brad Pitt, his doctor. They were at Bethesda Naval Hospital after all and Dr. Pitt knew his medical history just as well as Ducky. He had performed all his check-ups, annual lung analysis and monthly lung capacity tests. They had become friends over time. Dr. Pitt knew about Tony’s phobia of needles and was mindful to only use them when completely necessary.

“Hey Tony. You were looking for trouble again, I take it?” Brad joked but Tony replied indignantly.

“I don’t look for trouble. Usually trouble has no trouble finding me! You should know that by now.”

“Hey,” Brad tried to placate his patient and friend. “I was just kidding.”

“I know,” Tony sighed. “I’m just worried about my boss,” he explained.

“He’ll be fine, Tony. You should be more concerned about yourself, you know? I TOLD you that cold temperatures and over the top physical exhaustion were a complete no-go. And you even managed to add them up. This isn’t maths, Tony. Two negatives don’t make a positive when it comes to health issues and it sure as hell doesn’t when we’re talking about your lungs!” Properly chastised, all Tony could do was duck his head.

“I couldn’t let them die, Brad.” He whispered defeated.

“I know Tony,” Brad sighed and fuffled the other man’s hair in a friendly manner. “I’m just trying to look out for you if you don’t have anybody to do it for you.”

Smiling Tony, informed his doctor. “I HAVE somebody now, you know?”

“Yeah,” Brad agreed. “I’m a doctor, I notice these things. But still, it doesn’t count if said person isn’t around to watch out for you. Or trapped under water in a car for that matter.”

“Ok,” Tony admitted defeat and sighed. What was intended to be and stay a sigh turned into a cough however and Tony blushed prettily when he looked up and met his doctor’s raised eyebrows.

“Do I really have to strip for you to examine me? I’m still cold even with all the blankets,” Tony asked already knowing the answer. Well, he had tried at least.

“You know the drill Tony. I’m sorry. I don’t like the sound of your cough.”

Peeling the blankets away, layer after layer, Tony’s shivering grew worse. Finally naked from the waist up he let Brad do “his doctor thing” as he called it.

“There is already some minor congestion. Together with the test results it’s safe to say that it won’t stay that way. Sorry Tony but if I were you I’d get myself ready and prepared for double pneumonia.” The young man groaned at the harsh verdict but he appreciated Brad’s effort to not beat around the bush. If there was one thing Tony positively hated it was being left in the dark about his health. Brad knew that.

“You’ll get some shots of antibiotics immediately and we’ll see how we go from there. This will become a longer stay, I’m afraid Tony.”

“Didn’t I say ‘no silly stunts’, shorty?” a new voice filled the room.Neither man had noticed anybody entering until the stranger had commented on Tony’s work habits.

“Stan! Thanks for coming!” Tony’s smile spoke volumes. He was glad he finally got some company. Not that he really felt alone but he hated hospital with a passion and a familiar face was always a welcome sight.

“Anytime, Tony. You know that!” the other man replied.

“Yeah, it’s just…uhm… after last week I wasn’t so sure anymore.” Tony explained shyly.

“We’ll talk about that, promise, since you seem to find yourself with a lot of time on your hands.” Stan reassured his friend.

Dr. Pitt contented himself with watching the two men interact. First the byplay and the nickname the stranger had for Tony, hinted at more than simple friendship but observing them, he didn’t pick up anything remotely sexual.

“Nice to meet you Mr…” Dr Pitt addressed the other man

“Stan Burley but you can call me Stan.”

“Stan it is then. I am Dr. Brad Pitt and yes, that’s my real name and no, we’re not related,” the young doctor explained.

Stan couldn’t help but smile. This seemed to be one of the very few but existing nice doctors.

Turning back to Tony, Brad saw the mischievous smile immediately but tried not to let himself be bothered by it. So what if he found Stan attractive. Not a big deal. Tony’s smile suggested otherwise though. “Ok young man, let’s get you settled. I’ll try to ease up on the needles but there’s no way around the IV, I’m sorry.” Trying to not let himself be affected by the crushed look on Tony’s face, he steered the wheelchair with an again fully clothed and bundled up Tony to his room. Stan was following them silently.

“Brad, how far is my room from Gibbs’s and Maddie’s?” the young man in the wheelchair asked his doctor.

“Quite a bit. A few corridors at least. You’ll be in different ward because you’ll get a special treatment. We have to watch your lungs closely. Sorry Tony.” Dr. Pitt informed him and instantly felt bad when he saw the positively devastated look on his patient’s and friend’s face.

“And when can I go visit them?” he whispered dejectedly.

“That depends on the progress you make, Tony. The soonest will be in two day, I’m afraid.”

Brad felt terrible for cause the young man so much sorrow but he had to take care of him. There was no saying what the result from Tony’s successful but nonetheless reckless actions could be and they had to be prepared for anything, really. Double pneumonia, as bad as it sounded, was the best he could hope for. If things got worse than that… well he didn’t like the idea of that. Now he had to make sure Tony recovered as quickly as possible and remained stable when the onslaught of double pneumonia finally hit.

Arriving at Tony’s final destination, Brad took care of the IV, explained further proceedings and left the two men alone. He was aware that Stan watched him intently as he left the room but didn’t dare qualify the stare as a checking-somebody-out-gaze. He knew better than that.

Finally alone, Stan took time to look Tony over. The young man looked incredibly fragile with all the blankets still around him. He was pale and a faint sheen of prespiration ha formed on his forehead despite Tony’s shivering. The sickness progressed faster than he had thought. He had to trust Dr. Brad Pitt to know what was right for their mutual friend.

“I’m not dead yet,” Tony tried to lighten the mood but failed. His voice had grown gravely and raspy in a matter of minutes.

“I know,” the other man conceded. “I’m just worried.”

“Thanks,” Tony said, grateful for Stan being there. He looked him over thoughtfully until the other man frowned under the scrutiny.

“You are planning something. I know that look and I don’t like it. Spill!”

Tony at least had the good grace to look embarrassed. Weighing his options he knew that lying wasn’t a possibility. Stan was a trained investigator just like him and on top of that he knew Tony. “Can you help me get to the others’ rooms? Please?”

“You know I can’t do that Tony. You have to rest,” Stan argued.

“I need to see them, Stan. I can’t do that while lazing around here.” Tony pleaded.

Still the other man just shook his head. “No Tony. That would be irresponsible. You don’t understand what you’re risking.”

“No, you don’t understand!” Tony claimed furiously. “He was dead. His heart ad stopped beating and I managed to bring him back. I have to make sure he’s ok and stays that way!” Turning his head he faced the wall to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. Stan was having none of it though and gently turned his friend’s face around and studied his eyes. Sighing softly he shook his head again.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Be my friend?” biting his lip, Tony pleaded tentatively.

“Always,” the other man insisted. He was sure he was going to regret this but he simply couldn’t stand the crushed look on his friends face.

“We’ll make a deal, shorty. You concentrate on getting better and fighting of your very special present of double pneumonia. I’m going to watch over Gibbs and Maddie for you.”

The hopeful and grateful expression on Tony’s face warmed Stan’s heart and reassured him of having made the right decision. “You don’t have to do that Stan. I know how much..”

“No Tony,” the other man interrupted. “Gibbs hurt me, yeah but I’m doing this for you because you’re my friend.”

“Thanks. This means so much to me,” Tony whispered completely overwhelmed by his friend’s idea.

“I know, shorty.” Stan ruffled his hair again. He then moved to leave the room and looked back at Tony. “I hope he doesn’t hurt you. If he does, the best marine training won’t help him when he has to answer to me.” He closed the door and was gone, leaving a stunned Tony behind.

Stan immediately went to find Gibbs’s room. God he really was too nice for his own good. This had to be one of the stupidest things he could have done.

“That’s what you do for friends,” he muttered to himself, sighing deeply.

“You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.” Startled Stan turned around to come face to face with Dr. Brad Pitt.

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.” He replied jokingly and Dr. Pitt couldn’t help but laugh at the surprising statement.

“It’s good to see that at least some people don’t loose their good mood in a hospital. He stated

Stan nodded in agreement. “It might help that I’m not a patient but a visitor,” he couldn’t help but add. He liked the almost-banter with Tony’s doctor and obviously also friend.

“Point taken.” Brad laughed.

“Do you need something? Does Tony have any problems?” the doctor inquired after both men sobered up a bit.

“No, not at all,” Stan assured. “That is, nothing beyond the obvious. I’m looking for Special Agent Gibbs’s room. I promised Tony to keep an eye on his boss.” He continued

“I see. Well Agent Gibbs will probably be out for the next few hours but since his response to medication is anything other than normal it might be less. Still you’re welcome to stay with him. I’m sure he will appreciate the sentiment.” Dr. Pitt smiled but it quickly turned into a frown when he took in Stan’s heated glance.

“I’m doing this only for Tony. I don’t care whether Agent Gibbs appreciates it or not!” he claimed.

Brad raised his hand to placate the obviously irritated man.

“Sorry. Bad blood?” he asked carefully, nor sure if he would get an answer.

“Too much,” was Stan’s short reply but it told Brad enough. The could practically hear the hurt dripping off every letter, every word.

Wondering what ha caused the obvious fallout, Brad leaded the way to Gibbs’s room. He didn’t like the other man’s tense shoulders and stiff posture but also knew that he couldn’t really help the man. They weren’t even friends and the only person that could bring a change for Stan was the cause of the problem itself: obviously one Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Standing in front of said man’s door, Stan couldn’t bring himself to open the door. He had gone out of his way to avoid meeting the other man whenever he was in DC. And now he had volunteered to watch over him. How stupid was that?! He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back into Brad Pitt’s face. “He’s out for some time at least. You need something, ask a nurse to find me.” He squeezed the other man’s shoulder reassuringly and left him to his own devices.

Feeling comforted ever so slightly, Stan opened the door and stepped into the room. It was a normal standart room without anything fancy, save the wires and tubes monitoring Gibbs but otherwise there was nothing special. Noticing the dimmed lights he first hesitated as he stepped further into the room but then pulled himself together and strode forcefully to the chair on the left side of the hospital bed and took a seat. Feeling a bit at a loss as to what to do, he took out his cell and started a game of Tetris. He had Tony to thank for that addiction. One game, hook, line and sinker. It hadn’t taken a lot, really.

He couldn’t concentrate completely though. Feeling restless his gaze more often than not drifted to the unmoving person laying a couple of feet away from him. The older man still looked as good as ever. Face with clear, strong lines, even the toned body wasn’t concealed entirely by the blanket. Stan started talking before he could stop himself.

“I know you’re probably awake. You were never one to follow doctor’s orders or react to medication in the way normal people do. But for both our sakes, pretend that you’re asleep. I’m here because I promised Tony. He was ready to neglect his health and jeopardize his recovery to watch over you when it’s him who needs somebody to look out for. I hope to got that you’re serious with him. You won’t want to know what happens if you do; and that’s not a threat but a promise!” Stan said, his voice intent and focused.

“He really loves you,” Stan continued solemnly. “I shouldn’t be surprised though, I guess. I did too at one point but all you left me with is hate. You knew how I felt about you and you used me. At least I hope I was a good lay!” Stan challenged bitterly. All the pent up frustration and hurt was begging to be released. “I did everything for you. Trusted you unconditionally and still I wasn’t worthy of the Almighty Gibbs. I was so naïve and still asked you for help on the Enterprise when the drug-case became too much to handle on my own. You should have declined. You shouldn’t have come and flirt with me. But now you had to get my hopes up, didn’t you. There might not have been a way to let my down gently but you were an ass. But the second B’s for bastard, don’t I know it!”

The silence that followed Stan’s heated monologue was deafening. Jethro’s softly whispered “I’m sorry.” Sounded choked and almost got lost in the room. Stan just shook his head and got up. He couldn’t stay one minute longer right now. “Too late to apologize,” were his final words as he left the room.

Outside he took a deep breath and leaned heavily against the door. He felt energized and exhausted at the same time. The adrenaline was rushing through is body, he knew that but emotionally he felt empty and drained.

“Need some coffee?” Stan opened his eyes (he couldn’t even remember closing them) to meet Dr. Pitt’s warm and steady gaze.

“Yeah, he sighed deeply but gratefully. “Coffee would be great.”

“Ok, follow me then. There is actually some decent coffee in the cafeteria,” Brad explained.

“Wonders never cease,” the other man tried to joke but his heart wasn’t in it. Not really.

They made their way silently and after getting their respective orders they sat down at a more secluded table. Stan had wrapped his hands around the cup of coffee. He tried to absorb the warmth but the faint shivers running through his body didn’t lessen.

“I’m sorry doctor but I’m not very good company right now.” Stan apologized but Dr. Pitt just waved him off.

“Don’t worry. I won’t say that I understand since I have no idea at to what happened, but it’s ok.”

“Thanks doctor. No offence but don’t you have work to do?” the young man asked somewhat curiously.

“None taken. At the moment I’m not very busy. I work in Infectious Diseases and right now I don’t have any patients. I just ventured into the outside world so to speak when I heard that Tony had been admitted. Since his incident with the plague I regularly check his lungs and perform other tests. We became friends over the whole ordeal so I wanted to make sure that he got the right treatment from the very beginning. His lungs are more fragile than before and he needs looking after when those are affected,” Brad explained. Stan listened intently and not only with polite interest.

“What damage is it actually that the plague does?” Stan asked curiously.

“Well you see, it’s pretty complex. Once in the body, the bacteria can enter the lymphatic system, which drains interstitial fluid which is also known as tissue fluid, or intercellular fluid. Y. Pestis then spreads through the lymphatics until it reaches a lymph node, where it stimulates severe hemorrhagic inflammation causing the lymph nodes to expand. Lymphatics ultimately drain into the bloodstream and as a result the plague bacteria may enter the blood where they can travel to virtually any part of the body. Pneumonic plague, from which Tony suffered, infects the lungs. The very first signs of an infection are fever, headache, weakness, and rapidly developing pneumonia with shortness of breath, chest pain, cough, and sometimes bloody or watery sputum. The pneumonia progresses for two to four days. Worst case scenario? It causes respiratory failure and shock. At that point death is almost imminent”

“Wow. That sounds… like it’s one hell of a disease.” Stan whispered, clearly in awe at what Tony had fought successfully against.”

“That’s one way to put it. It was his luck that the bug killed himself after 32 hours. Otherwise there would be no Tony today, I’m afraid.” Brad confessed.

“Yeah I know,” Stan admitted.

“Actually, not thinking about it, there is also severe damage of the lungs after an infection with pneumonic plague. If you were to perform an autopsy on a victim the lungs would be extensively scarred. Tony’s are too, as a matter of fact. Not as much since he’s a healthy young man but still. His lungs can’t be strained as much as before. If he still pushes too far, his body shuts down to recover properly,” the doctor finished his explanation.

“Wow,” Stan was visibly stunned.

“Yea that pretty much hits the nail on the head.” Brad agreed. “Tony was incredibly lucky. He just doesn’t realize that he has to watch out more than before. Well, no, that’s not exactly true. He knows but puts others in front of himself. It’s unnerving, really.”

Stan nodded. “I know exactly what you mean. Today is the perfect example.”

“True. Let’s hope that he’ll change for the better now that he’s not single anymore. I’m pretty sure Agent Gibbs won’t let something like this happen again.” Dr. Pitt explained but wished he hadn’t mentioned Tony’s new partner. He didn’t like the way Stan’s expression had darkened considerably.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized sincerely. “That was inconsiderate.” But the other man just waved him off.

“It’s ok. We’ll see if he watches out for Tony.”

“He didn’t for you?” Brad knew he was going out on a limb there but the pain in the other man’s eyes told him that he had hit home.

“No, he didn’t. At least not for my heart. He fucked me and then fucked me over. Simple as that,” Stan spat bitterly. The silence that followed was tense and borderline uncomfortable until Stan, shoulders slumped, apologized. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you didn’t want to hear that.”

“Not at all,” Dr. Pitt reassured him. “I just know that sometimes it’s better to just listen than to speak.”

“Truer words,” Stan smiled softly and saw it mirrored in the other man’s face. He was really starting to like the doctor. He was easy on the eyes and had a nice sense of humor. Boyfriend material, a voice in his head pointed out (un)helpfully but Stan didn’t listen. He didn’t need that right now. Really not. He had come to DC to get some action and meet up with Tony. Getting to know a nice and charming man hadn’t been on his list, He wasn’t a commitment phobe as Ton had been but since Gibbs he had shied away when things got too serious for his taste.

Once bitten, twice shy, as they say.

He had yet to find another person he could trust as unconditionally as he had trusted Gibbs albeit that chapter of his life didn’t have a happy ending and more than likely never would.

“Are you angry that he’s Tony’s partner now?” the doctor interrupted his thoughts.

He didn’t hesitate answering though. “No, not at all. I’m happy that Tony found somebody. I can see what he sees in Gibbs. At some point I saw it too. Not anymore though,” he explained seriously. “I’m only angry at Gibbs. I could have lived with a ONS had I known that it would be nothing more than a fling. But getting my hopes up, throwing me away and then flirting with me again? No, I don’t work that way.”

“Nobody does. I wouldn’t have reacted any other way. Not that anybody would, really.” Brad Pitt agreed. Stan looked at him, clearly surprised.

“Are you..?”

“I’m leaving all my options open,” Brad smiled.

“Bi?”

“Yeah.” He nodded

“Really?” Stan was clearly stunned. “Either my gaydar is complete crap or you’re trying to stay below the radar.” He mused aloud.

“It’s the latter. I don’t exactly hide it but I don’t flaunt it either. When it comes to my work here, my sexuality is nobody’s business but mine.”

“Makes sense,” Stan agreed. “As a federal agent working in quasi military land I try to keep it low too. Better that way.”

“Could they actually fire you for it?” Dr. Pitt asked, obviously interested instead of just trying to make small talk.

“No, not really. I’m neither a marine nor in the Armed Forces. Whom I have sex with isn’t anybody’s concern but mine.” Stan elaborated.

He liked the easy conversation with Dr. Pitt. It was normal and nice, not uncomfortable and loaded with innuendo. Like you would have minded the annoying little voice in his head pointed out unhelpfully again. He decided to just ignore it. Again. He refocused and was faced with Brad Pitt’s soft smile. Good God this man could become dangerous for him. And his heart.

“Do you mind if we go upstairs again? I’d like to check on Tony and see how his vitals are.” The doctor asked apologetically. Stan just shook his head.

“No worried, that’s ok. Lucky me, I get to continue my vigil,” he sighed.

“You don’t have to,” Brad pointed out but Stan was adamant. “I promised Tony. Gibbs means too much to him, for me to not keep that promise.”

“I see. Well if you need somebody or company for another cup of coffee, feel free to come looking for me.” Brad offered

“Thanks, I appreciate that. I guess we’ll be seeing quite a bit of each other during the next days.” Stan smiled

“True,” Dr. Pitt agreed, “but I don’t mind. Tony’s friends are my friends too.”

“That goes both ways, Doctor” Stan informed the other man.

“Brad,” he corrected Stan

“Ok, Brad. I’ll see you around.”

They smiled at each other and parted ways to get to their respective destinations. Stan couldn’t help but feel a lot lighter than when he had left Gibbs’s room only a little more than an hour ago.

TBC

Read and review please ::smile::


	6. Cup of Coffee

Well this is not so much an chapter as an author's note. I absolutely loved the great feedback I got up to now on this story but I feel like I need to take a little break from it. I gave it my all and now I can't help but feel a little drained

I'm going to write a few other pieces in the meantime and get new ideas for the story. I have some, yes but at the moment I need to step back for a little while. I hope everybody understands 

*smile*  
Nathalie


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